He shakes his head. “That’s not true, and you know it.”
I’ve never held anything back from him.
“I want to see who you are when you let go. You spend every waking moment worried about everyone else. You’re constantly fighting to keep everyone in good head space. You feed, nurture, and love everyone in this club harder than anyone I know.”
“It’s what I do.”
“I know, and I’m not asking you to stop … but dammit, Jesse, when are you going to do all of that for yourself? I’ve watched you bust your ass for years. I want to know the Jesse on the other side of the club, and everything I’ve just said goes for myself too.”
“But I know the most efficient way …”
He stops me with a single finger over my lips.
“I want to lay in your grandparent’s back yard at night and stare up at the stars. I’ve known you all these years, and I still don’t know which one is your favorite.”
It makes me smile, because how do you pick just one when there are millions?
“I’ve loved every minute with you here at the warehouse. We’ve welcomed so many new faces over the years and said goodbye to a few. We ministered to this club in our own way, and we made a difference.” He shakes me lightly. “We made a difference.”
We stare at each other, remembering all of the good times and even the not so good. The two of us have been through a lot together.
“I want to be selfish with my wife.” The color of his eyes swirls to a deep blue, and his hand drops to my neck, pulling me close. “Who will we be when it’s just you and me? What things could we learn about each other if we were able to relax enough to be soft …” His lips brush against mine as tenderly as his words.
A shiver runs down my spine.
He pulls away a fraction. “We could travel.” Another kiss. “We could take up hiking.” Another kiss. “We could leisurely make love every afternoon.” The kiss that comes after that suggestion is deeper, hungrier.
When he pulls away, his gaze searches mine. He’s made his case, and I have to say it was pretty convincing.
“You just want to let go of everything we’ve built here?” I ask.
“The club has a firm foundation.”
I press my forehead against his. What he’s saying makes sense. Everything I once enjoyed is starting to feel more and more like a chore.
“I’m not getting any younger, Jesse.”
He used to say that, and I’d laugh, but age has a way of catching up to us all. I’m beginning to feel the years too. I lean away from him. He’s still so goddamn sexy. Time hasn’t changed that.
“You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” I ask.
The smile he gives me makes my heart melt. He knows he’s winning me over.
“Let’s hear it,” he coaxes.
“I’ve always dreamed of packing up and hitting the open road. Just you and me and the bike. We go wherever the wind blows us. Our only goal to chase the sun and rest under the moon.”
His eyebrow cocks up in interest. “Fuck, yeah. That does sound nice.”
“We live in the moment.”
When I pause, he continues the dream. “We’ll make a list of all of our favorite places. We’ll explore the world together.”
“And each other,” I add, pressing my lips to his.
“I love that idea most. When do we leave?” he asks.
This is crazy. “We aren’t really doing this, are we?”
