“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Raffe said he’d pick you up. That must be him,” Lexie says.
“Oh.” My arms drop to my side. “He’s on his bike.”
“Girls, why don’t you take Raffe inside and offer him a pastry. Jenny and I will be there in a moment.”
The girls instantly obey her. It’s easy to see they have a lot of respect for this woman.
When the door closes behind them, Elizabeth hugs me. She holds me tight. “I know it’s exhausting introducing yourself back into society, to life. Just keep doing it scared, and one day you won’t even remember what you were afraid of in the first place.”
I chuckle sadly. “I just gave Charlotte a pep talk about working through your fears.”
“Well then, you know what to do.” She leans away from me. “What are you worried about? Are you afraid of the bike?”
“No. I used to ride with him on his dirt bike all the time. It was one of my favorite things to do. I loved sitting behind him and holding on tight.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“I love him so much it hurts. I guess I’m afraid of the nostalgia, the time lost, and the sadness that comes with it.”
“It’s a necessary growing pain. Let yourself experience the melancholy, but what you need to focus on is the feel of his leather cut beneath your fingertips. The clench of his muscles as he maneuvers the bike. Feel the power of it under your ass, the wind and the sunshine on your face. The way his fingers brush across your leg. The acceleration of your heart when he taps you, letting you know to hold on tight because you’re about to go fast. Take it all in, Jenny. Stay in the moment, not in the time lost.” She pauses to tap my head. “In a place that never existed because thisisyour life.”
“You’re right. Thank you for the conversation, the advice, and this.” I wave my hand over the plants that I know add more work to her already full plate.
“You’re welcome. You know, I think you and I are going to be good friends.”
“I would love that.”
By the time we get outside, Raffe is coming out of the house. His jaw is working back and forth. He’s worried about me, so I give him my best smile.
“See, I told you she was fine,” Lexie tells him.
He looks over his shoulder at her and then back at me.
“We were just talking about the plants and flowers Elizabeth saved for me.”
His face softens, and he finally relaxes. “Elizabeth has a green thumb. Your babies are in good hands.”
“Well, I guess we should get going. I’m excited to get started on your dress,” I tell Kelsie.
Raffe watches from his bike as Elizabeth and I say goodbye. When I finally approach him, he smiles. “You and Elizabeth seem to click. I wondered how you would get along.”
“We have a lot in common. I really like her.”
He nods in agreement. “I thought you might. I’m really proud of you for stepping out today,” he says, carefully placing a helmet on my head. His eyes are bouncing over my face. He’s nervous too.
When we both have our helmets on, he taps his against mine lightly. “You good with this?”
“I am.”
The way he smiles makes my heart sing.
He gets on first and then takes my hand, helping me on behind him. I lift my skirt, glancing up at the front porch where my new friends are unashamedly staring at us. The minute I slide my arms around his waist, excitement replaces the last bit of fear I was holding on to. When he starts the motor, I close my eyes, taking in every sensation.
The women wave as we pull out. The Harley feels much more powerful than the speedy dirt bike he used to have. His bike is beautiful and sleek, and so is Raffe.
My soul breathes a deep sigh of relief. What the hell was I so scared of? This is living.
I’m living.
