“I’m stealing her life,” I begin to cry, cradling the spool to my chest. “None of this should be mine.”
She pats my hand. “Oh, honey. You are doing no such thing.”
“Then why does it feel that way?”
“It’s true you and Rachel love the same people, but you are loving them in your own way. You’re not taking anything away from her.”
I take the tissue she hands me and blow my nose. “Did Raffe call you?”
She smiles without answering, which is an answer in itself. “He loves you very much. Always has.”
“He didn’t see me in here crying over a spool of thread, did he?”
“Raffe tried to talk to you, but you were lost to your thoughts. He thought maybe you needed someone to talk to besides him.”
“I didn’t even notice him. I feel bad.” I glance out the window to see Ray and Raffe fishing down at the dock.
When I return my focus to my mother, she sighs. “Life comes in phases, Jenny. The quicker you can let go of one, the sooner you can embrace the next.” She grabs my chin. “Ray was married to a wonderful woman, and I was married to your father. We both lived very different lives than we do now. It’s not wrong or sad. It just is. I don’t let my past stop me from experiencing the good I have now.”
I laugh lightly at her lack of description for my father. “Ray is a little more colorful than Daddy, isn’t he?”
Her cheeks turn pink, and it makes me happy. My mother deserves to be loved out loud, and that is exactly what Ray does.
“It’s true. Ray is very different, but I wouldn’t change anything from our pasts. He loved his wife immensely, and he has Dan to show for it. And your Daddy and I, we loved each other in our own way, and we made our Jenny girl,” she says.
I instantly burst into tears because I haven’t heard my father’s nickname for me in so long.
She hugs me, pulling me close. “Raffe told me how good you’ve been doing at making connections.” She looks at the wedding dress hanging beside us. “The people here are not fake, Jenny. I know you’ve been deceived in the past, but they are the real deal.”
“You’re not supposed to know about the dress. It’s a surprise,” I say, laughing sadly.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she assures, giving me a kiss on the forehead.
“I’ve missed you, Mama.”
“I’ve missed you too.” She pats my arm. “So, what do we have here? Can I help?”
“I would love that.” I glance over my shoulder at our men on the dock.
“They’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about them.”
My mom leans over to look at all the pretty ribbon and lace in the tote. “Rachel didn’t do a lot of sewing, but she was constantly mending Jackson’s clothes. That boy was always ripping his jeans. I swear he walked around on his knees.”
I run my thumb over the blue thread and needle and quietly slip it into the pocket of my apron.
“Mama, do you think Elizabeth could use this ribbon in the bouquets she’s making? I know everyone misses Rachel. It would be a little piece of her they could carry with them.”
“I think that is a lovely idea.”
We spend the next few hours huddling over Lily’s dress.
“Your stitches have improved so much,” my mother praises, her sharp eyes paying attention to every detail.
“I had a lot of time to practice.”
She grimaces and quickly turns the conversation. “You know my sewing machine is in the attic at the farm, if you ever want it.”
“I would love to have it, but I think I’ll always prefer hand stitching. It calms my mind.”
