And there it is. Even though it sounds like a statement, it’s not. It’s a question. One I don’t know if I’m ready to answer.
Aspen squirms to get down. “Papa, nap,” she tells him, tugging at his hand.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Napping together is kind of our thing.” Raffe pats her little cheek. “No nap today, baby girl,” he says, remaining in his chair.
I smile at him. “It’s okay. Why don’t you both take a nap on my couch? There is a blanket and pillow on my bed you can grab.” I point to my room. “You don’t want her getting grumpy on you.”
“You’re probably right there, but …”
“We’ll have time,” I assure him softly.
Aspen hasn’t given up in her tug of war with his arm. The girl knows what she wants, and she wants a damn nap.
“I’m going to go outside and supervise.” I stand, moving toward the back door.
“Papa,” Aspen pleads, and when he looks at her, I take the opportunity to slip away.
The second I’m outside I bend over, bracing my hand on the side of the house. I inhale deeply, and then I hurry down the path on bare feet, disappearing into the forest.
I’ve got so much to tell my tree.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Raffe
Ilook away for one second, and she disappears.
“Come on, Papa,” Aspen says, trying to pull my arm off.
My defeated sigh makes her smile. The tiny turd knows she has me wrapped around her little finger. “Fine. Let’s go find a blanket.”
She does a little stomping dance in celebration before hurrying into the other room. She must know where she’s going. By the time I catch up, she’s already lying on Jenny’s bed.
I hover in the doorway. “We’re going to nap on the couch, baby. Come here.” I wave her toward me.
Aspen just settles in further, slipping under the covers.
Hesitantly, I enter the room, keeping my attention on the blanket at the foot of the bed. I pick it up. “Come on, sweetheart.”
She giggles and pulls the comforter over her head.
My gaze slides around the space, stopping abruptly on a photo on Jenny’s bedside table. The room begins to spin, and I have to slowly lower myself to the mattress. A sob escapes me.
Aspen instantly shoves the covers down, crawling to me. “Papa sad?” Her arms wrap around my neck as she hugs me from behind, balancing herself on the bedding.
I pat her little hands. “Papaissad, but I’m happy too.”
She notices the photo and scrambles over to it, picking it up with no hesitation. I try to take it from her, so she doesn’t break it, but she turns her back to me. “This Daddy.” She points to Jackson, and then her tiny finger goes to me. “Papa.” When her finger lands over Rachel, she smiles wide. “And Gamma.”
I take it from her, choking back tears. “Yeah, that’s your angel grandma.”
She nods, running her finger under her nose, staring at me for a moment like she’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. “Papa needs a nap,” she says somberly, and it makes me chuckle.
“I think you might be right.”
Aspen resumes her original position on Jenny’s bed, patting the spot beside her. I kick my boots off and hesitantly lie down. She instantly curls to my side like a little kitten. I try to keep my mind on the ceiling fan above us, watching the blades spin round and round. Unfortunately, I also have to breathe, and with each inhale I feel myself becoming more and more addicted to the woman who lives here. I guess I’ve always been an addict.
When Aspen’s soft snores interrupt my thoughts, I tell myself I should get up and leave the room, but that’s not what I do. I turn my face into the pillow and inhale slowly. Jenny’s scent wafts from the linen. It’s comforting and familiar, while at the same time new and exciting.
