“Stop.” My hand hit the table, not hard, but enough to make the cup rattle. “Don’t do that. Don’t gaslight me, talk to me like I’m some nigga who don’t know you. Youknowsomething.”
Her lips pressed together tightly. That’s how I knew I’d hit a nerve. Inside, I felt that old tension crawl up my spine. It was the kind of feeling I thought I reserved for the streets, the instinct that saiddon’t trust nobody. But this was my mother. Mymama. The woman who scraped and sacrificed so I could have something better.
So why was she lying to me?
She sighed, leaned back in her chair. “Mekhi, baby, you need to calm down. You been under too much pressure, that’s all this is. That girl clearly got you stressed?—”
“Farrah ain’t the problem.” My voice changed just a bit on her name. I caught it and Gillian did, too, if the way she side-eyed me was any indication. I forced my tone back low. “The problem is somebody keep playing games with my life and with hers. And this dude—thisTrell—he out here saying I need to askyouwhy he coming for us.”
Her eyes darted to mine, wider this time. That surprised her. “He saidthat?”
“Yeah. You ain’t even ask what he said. That’s how I know you lying.”
The silence that followed was thick. I watched her swallow, exhale, look away.
“I did some things,” she finally whispered, “back when you were little. Things I had to do to keep us fed. I didn’t ask no questions. I didn’t know names. Maybe one of ‘em caught up to you, I don’t know.”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t believe her. This wasn’t some random. Shit was too personal.
“Ma, look at me.”
She did. I saw fear in her gaze. And guilt.
I leaned back, just watching her. I wanted to yell at her, demand the truth. But I knew it wasn’t coming today.
She finally spoke, voice trembling. “You think you leave the past, Mekhi, but the past don’t leave you. It just haunts you, follows you from address to address.”
I stared at her, the weight of that sinking in, feeling like cement in my chest.
“Yeah? Well, I ain’t got time for ghosts. I don’t mind airing ‘em out.”
She flinched at that—just slightly.
And for the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure if my mama was scaredforme… orofme.
I could tellMekhi was trying not to think, which meant he was absolutely was thinking, and way too hard. He’d barely said anything since I came home, but he was sticking close to me. At least he wasn’t pacing anymore; I thought his ass was going to burn a hole in the carpet earlier, all that back and forth. I guess he’d burned through that energy, but he still looked worried, like his mind was being pulled in too many directions.
The only thing that had my permission to worry Mekhi Venzant was me. So, I made an executive decision. It was time I helped him keep a firm hold on his Black card like I’d promised at the museum.
“Get on the floor,” I told him, hands on my hips, standing in the middle of his living room like I owned the place. “We playing Spades.”
He stared at me like I’d spoken in tongues. “I’on know if I got cards, Little Thug,” he said finally.
“What do you have, then?” I asked.
He looked like he wanted to deny me, like he just wanted to sit in his worry. I wasn’t having that. Trell, whoever he was, didn’t get to have that much power and control. So, I waited patiently, but with a look that told him I wasn’t giving up.
“I got Monopoly.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, he had Monopoly. Money was the bottom line in every aspect of his life, I guess.
“Well, get the damn box,” I demanded.
He frowned at me. “For what?”
“To relax yo’ stiff ass!”
He looked at me for a solid five seconds. No expression. No humor. Nothing. He looked like he wasn’t up for my bullshit. I didn’t feel like arguing with him… wait, who I was kidding? Ialwaysfelt like arguing with him. But I hoped I wouldn’t have to. Then, finally, I saw the tiniest twitch at the corner of his mouth.
