Nat’s eyes softened. “Well, you’ve got Moxie to thank, mostly.” She chuckled, hoping to lighten the moment, but Sofia’s gaze stayed steady on her.
“No, Nat. It’s you.” Her voice held a quiet conviction, her fingers tracing circles over Nat’s hand. “You’ve made me feel like I could actually relax, be myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve let anyone close.”
Nat swallowed, the weight of Sofia’s words making her heart race. “Maybe we both needed this,” she murmured.
Sofia’s hand lingered over Nat’s and she looked down, as though bracing herself, before meeting Nat’s eyes. “Are you okay with… this?” she asked, the hint of a blush warming her cheeks. “With us, I mean… whatever this is. I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of you.”
“I don’t think that.” Nat gave Sofia’s hand a gentle squeeze, feeling the tremor beneath her fingers. “And yes,” she said. “I’m okay with this – more than okay.”
Sofia’s lips curved, but there was something thoughtful in her expression. She looked down, her fingers tracing light patternsover Nat’s hand. “And… beyond this?” she asked, her voice low. “What do you want, Nat? For your future, I mean. Relationship-wise.”
Nat took a deep breath, then blew out her cheeks. “Honestly? I do want love,” she admitted, feeling a flicker of vulnerability in saying it aloud. “Who doesn’t? But there’s a lot I need to get sorted first.”
“Like what?”
Nat’s eyes drifted to the fire, the flames flickering and sparking in a quiet rhythm. “Well, I need to help my parents get the bakery back on its feet. They’ve worked so hard for it, and with the damage from the fire… it’s going to take every bit of help I can offer. After that, I need to save. I’ve always dreamed of starting my own business, maybe even a small boutique lodge one day, but that means a deposit, planning… a lot of sacrifice.”
Sofia nodded. “But… why can’t you do all that alongside love?”
The question lingered, striking a chord in Nat. She thought about it, but she’d always believed that her goals demanded a singular focus, that everything else would have to wait until she was settled and established. “I’m not sure,” she said. “I guess… I’ve always thought I didn’t have much to offer until I got my life together.”
Sofia’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I work long hours, I’m hardly ever home, and my apartment is so small I can barely fit in it myself. It’s not exactly the dream life anyone would want to share. There isn’t even enough closet space for one person, let alone two.”
“Nat, do you really think that matters?” Sofia asked.
“Well, yeah,” she murmured, feeling her cheeks heat. “I mean, who wants to be with someone who’s always busy, always exhausted? And that’s just it—I don’t want to give someoneanything less than they deserve. I guess I’ve always felt like I need to be more… settled. Stable.”
Sofia’s hand slipped over Nat’s. “You’re selling yourself short,” she said. “You give so much, Nat. I’ve seen it in how you take care of people, how much you care about your family. You have so much to offer.”
Nat felt her chest tighten, Sofia’s words sinking in deeper than she’d anticipated. “Thank you, that’s sweet.”
“No one’s ever fully put together,” Sofia continued. “And love isn’t about perfection.”
“I know.” Nat wanted to scoot closer, to rest her head in the crook of Sofia’s arm, but they were in a strange space. Even though they had amazing sex, she didn’t want to get too attached. It would be so easy with Sofia to slip into their bubble and let herself be swept away. But she had to be careful. With Sofia, it would be so much harder to guard her heart, to keep herself from diving in too deep. Because this didn’t feel like the casual flings she’d had in the past. It went deeper, brushing against parts of her she’d kept protected. And that scared her.
“So where do we go from here?” Sofia asked.
“I don’t know,” Nat said honestly. “I suppose this is it. After Christmas it’s unlikely we’ll ever see each other again, right?”
“Is that what you want?” Sofia caught her gaze and held it.
“Isn’t that whatyouwant?” Nat knew it was a weak response, but what else could she say?”
Sofia shrugged. “Not necessarily. I’d like to explore this more. I think it would be a shame not to.”
Nat’s heart fluttered at Sofia’s words, but a part of her remained skeptical, grounded in the practical doubts that kept hope at a distance. She’d seen it before—loneliness masquerading as something deeper, people swept up in a moment only to step back once reality returned.
“Will you at least stay the night again?” Sofia asked.
“Of course,” Nat whispered, her resolve already crumbling. Because despite everything—the doubts, the caution—she wanted this. She wanted to stay with Sofia, to bask in the warmth and joy they’d found in each other, even if only for another few nights.
Chapter Nineteen
Nat sat on the floor in Sofia’s bedroom, lighting the fire in the hearth while she listened to Sofia’s humming under the shower. They’d spent the evening sharing laughter and stories until their conversations turned into lingering glances and a steamy make-out session that had carried them upstairs to Sofia’s room.
She sat back on her heels, watching the fire catch and spread, its warm glow casting flickering shadows around the room. She’d already taken a quick shower herself, steam and lavender-scented soap lingering on her skin, and now she was wrapped snugly in one of the soft guest robes, her damp hair twisted up in a loose knot. The plush robe, warmer and cozier than anything she had at home, made her feel cocooned and just a little bit daring as she waited for Sofia to emerge.
