Her mother set down the dishcloth and turned to face her fully. "Stop that right now," she said firmly. "You're beautiful and talented and any woman would be lucky to have you. Don't you dare compare yourself to anyone."
But Nat couldn't help it. In her mind, Carla was probably upstairs right now, in Sofia's arms, their argument forgotten as they rekindled their relationship. In her mind, they also looked perfect together, both of them polished and sophisticated. Meanwhile, here she was, the chalet girl who'd foolishly thought she might have a chance at something real.
"I think I'm just going to head to bed," she said quietly, placing the last of the leftovers in the fridge. Right now, she couldn’t wait to curl up under the covers because she felt like crying, and holding it in was draining.
"Oh no you don't!" Zoe's voice called. She appeared in the doorway, hands on her hips, looking determined. "It's Christmas Eve, and we haven't even had cookies and hot chocolate yet. You are not letting some fancy tech CEO and her drama queen ex ruin our tradition."
"Zoe, I'm really not in the mood?—"
"Don't care," Zoe interrupted, pulling mugs from the cabinet. "I made cookies – the ones with the chocolate chunks and sea salt. And Dad bought those fancy marshmallows you like."
A reluctant smile tugged at Nat’s lips. Her sister's enthusiasm was hard to resist, even now. "Fine," she conceded. "One cookie. One cup of cocoa. Then bed."
They settled in the living room, where their father had built up the fire to a cheerful blaze. Moxie was still curled up on the couch, but she lifted her head and raised herself when Nat offered her a portion of finely chopped turkey.
While Moxie ate, she pulled out her phone, almost without thinking about it. Her thumb hovered over the Instagram icon, and before she could stop herself, she was typing Sofia's name into the search bar. She'd never looked her up before – it had felt too much like crossing a line. But now...
"Don't you dare," Zoe said sharply, swatting at her hand. "I know what you’re up to. Social media stalking never ends well."
Nat looked up, surprised. "How did you?—"
"Duh. I’d do the same but trust me; it’s not going to make you feel better.”
“I’ll decide that for myself, thank you,” Nat said.
Zoe sighed and put a hand on her arm. “Seriously, Sis. Don’t. Because I already did it," she admitted, having the grace to look slightly sheepish. "Carla Martinez, right? She's all over Sofia's old posts. You don't want to go there. It'll just make you feel worse."
"You looked her up?" Nat shifted. "What... what did you find?"
"Nope, not telling you," Zoe said firmly, pushing a steaming mug of hot chocolate into Nat's hands. "What I will tell you is that those posts are all from ages ago, and they don't matter. What matters is that you're here with us now, it's Christmas Eve, and these cookies aren't going to eat themselves."
Nat took a sip of her cocoa while absently stroking Moxie, the rich chocolate warming her from the inside out. But her phone felt heavy in her lap, like a magnet pulling her attention. Sofiawas the only thing on her mind. Were they talking? Had they made up? Had she already forgotten about Nat?
The couch dipped as her father settled in beside her, remote in hand and wearing the kind of determined expression that told her she wouldn't be escaping to her apartment anytime soon. He'd changed into his favorite flannel pajamas – the ones with the dancing reindeer he wore every Christmas.
"Found this new Christmas comedy," he said, navigating through the streaming menu. "Supposed to be really good. About this woman who gets stuck in a ski resort during a snowstorm and?—"
"Dad," Nat interrupted, her chest tightening. The last thing she needed right now was a reminder of ski resorts and snowstorms. But when she looked at his eager face, the words of protest died in her throat. He was trying so hard to cheer her up, they all were, and she couldn't bring herself to disappoint him.
Part of her was grateful for the interruption – Zoe was probably right about social media stalking being a bad idea. Still, her fingers itched to search, to see the photos her sister had mentioned. Just how perfect had Sofia and Carla looked together? How many romantic vacations and couple selfies would she find?
"Here we go!" her father announced triumphantly. "You'll love this one, sweetheart. It's got that actress you like, the funny one from that show about the restaurant."
Nat managed a small smile, tucking her phone between the couch cushions. Maybe a mindless comedy was exactly what she needed. Anything to stop the endless loop of images in her head: Sofia and Carla reconciling, Sofia and Carla kissing, Sofia and Carla falling back into their old rhythms as if the past few days with Nat had never happened.
Moxie, having finished her turkey, padded across their laps to settle in the crook of Nat's arm, purring contentedly. The tinyweight was comforting, and Nat stroked the kitten's soft fur, focusing on the gentle vibration of her purrs.
"A cookie?" Zoe offered, holding out the plate. The chocolate chunks had melted slightly from the residual heat of the fireplace, making them look even more tempting.
"No thanks," Nat started to say, but her father was already reaching across her to grab one.
"Come on, Nat," he said, breaking the cookie in half and offering her a piece. "Your sister spent all afternoon making these. Remember when you two were little, and you'd try to stay awake to catch Santa eating the cookies you'd left out?"
The memory brought a genuine smile to her face. "Yeah, and Zoe would always fall asleep first, so I'd have to wake her up when I heard noises downstairs."
"Only for us to find Dad in his Santa hat, crumbs all over his beard," Zoe added, giggling.
Their father attempted to look offended, but the effect was ruined by the very real cookie crumbs currently dotting his mustache. "I was merely quality testing them for Santa," he protested. "Making sure they were up to standard."
