I open my mouth to tell him again that it’s not a big deal, but I snap my lips shut at the last second. In the beginning, when Lonny’s advances were only verbal, I told Jason about it. He laughed and told me the guy must pity me. I went to bed crying that night. And now, I think I might have to go to bed with an extra set of batteries for my vibrator because of how Xander is reacting to it. Protective and pissed. It’s hot.
“I asked if you understand.”
The growl in his voice makes my nipples pebble, and when his gaze flicks down to them, I know he’s noticed, too. That’s what I get for wearing a lace bra, I guess. Not that I was expecting company.
Parting my lips, I suck in a breath, then nod. “Yes, sir.”
Oh my God. Did I just call him sir? I didn’t mean to. Not really. He’s just so commanding, it slipped out. And I liked it. A lot.
He stares at me for a long second, his pupils dilating, eyes searching. Then, as if something dawns on him, he straightens and takes a step back. Almost like a mask slips into place, his jaw tics, and his expression hardens.
“Thank you for dinner. Keep your door locked from now on, Quinn.” Without another word, he turns and strides out of my apartment. Once again, I’m left alone, wondering what the hell just happened. And I have no idea where Xander actually lives.
Every step is morepainful than the last as I make my way through the casino of The Obsidian. I really need to soak my feet between jobs, but there’s no time for that today. Thanks to one of my very wealthy regulars at Onyx, the bar I work at inside The Obsidian, I can go to my mom’s care facility and get her bill caught up.
“Quinny! Hey, girl, how are you doin’?” Trey, one of the valet guys, smiles at me as he jogs over.
I grin at him and give him a brief hug when he approaches. “Hey, I’m good. Thanks. Just about to run an errand and then head over to Luxe for an evening shift.”
Trey smiles, his gaze tracking the line of cars coming and going. “You work too hard, Quinny. One of these rich gamblers is going to sweep you off your feet at some point, and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.”
Rolling my eyes, I laugh at him, giving his shoulder a playful shove. “I don’t need a rich man. Haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’? I just want someone to make me the center of his world. Is that too much to ask?”
My phone pings, letting me know the car I ordered is about to arrive. Normally, I’d take the bus, but since my time is limited today, I’d rather pay fifteen dollars for a car service than clock up another hundred-dollar late fee.
As soon as my ride pulls up, Trey opens the back door and grins as I climb in. “It’s not too much to ask. Don’t ever settle, Quinny. You’re a twenty out of ten. Have a good rest of your day. We’ll have drinks soon, yeah?”
Nodding, I give him a double thumbs-up before he closes the door and takes a step back, then goes jogging off to the next approaching vehicle.
Trey and I have worked at The Obsidian together for three years. We started on the same day and became instant friends in the most boring orientation class. In that time, Trey has married his husband, bought a house, gotten a dog, and now they are adopting a baby. All the while, my entire life has imploded, but he has been there for me every step of the way. It’s so difficult to find loyal friends like Trey and his husband, Zach, but somehow, I lucked out with them. I can hardly wait to tell them all about my meeting with Xander. Maybe if I tell somebody about him, I’ll stop thinking about him so much, since that’s all I’ve been doing the past two days.
The ride to the facility is quick, and when I walk in, the receptionist smiles kindly. “Hi, Miss Summers. Here to see your mom?”
Forcing a matching expression, I give a tight nod. “Yes, but I can’t stay long. And I need to see Mike, please.”
She buzzes me in and picks up her phone, probably to let Mike know I’m here. My shoulders tighten as I walk through the doors into the community room where the residents spend most of their time.
Swallowing thickly, I scan the space and spot my mom in a corner, staring out a window, her eyes blank, like always. The same lump that always forms when I come here lodges in my throat as I make my way to her. I try not to resent her. I try not to hate her. When I don’t have to face her, it’s easy to forget some of the feelings that are always festering inside. It’s a lot tougher when I’m here.
“Mom.”
She looks up at me, but there is no recognition. No light in her blue eyes. The drugs took that. The men who abused her.The streets of this city. They took it all. And even though I know addiction is an illness, I still blame her. I blame her for choosing all of that over me. Every single time.
My pulse starts to race as the anger I keep suppressed begins to rise, and panic clouds my vision. I can’t do this today. I just can’t.
“I was stopping by to pay the rent, and then I’m heading back to work. I wanted to say hi, though.” I smile at her, hoping she doesn’t hear the edge in my voice or the way it shakes as I speak.
“Do you have any candy?”
Drugs.
My heart squeezes so tight that I let out a choked sob. From what the facility told me, she’s been clean since her last overdose a few years ago, which resulted in a stroke that caused permanent brain damage. She doesn’t ever seem to recognize me when I visit. Only twice have I thought she knew who I was, but she didn’t say my name or mention anything about me being her daughter. Yet she remembers that she wants drugs. And that’s like a knife to the chest.
Shaking my head, I turn away so she can’t see my tears, even though she’s no longer looking at me. “I’ll see you next time, Mom.”
When I’ve nearly made it to the door, she speaks again. “Bring me some candy next time.”
My steps slow at her words, but I don’t stop moving until I’m outside the security doors. As soon as I’m in the lobby, I let out a shaky breath as the tears begin to fall.
