I swallow, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
Only one person knows exactly what she did. And now he’s buried in the cemetery next to my mom. My brothers asked. They tried to get me to open up to them. I just couldn’t.Wouldn’t. It hurt too fucking much. I never wanted to speak the words out loud again.
But for Quinn…
“Yes,” I answer quietly. “I’ll tell you. But I want your truth. All of it.”
She closes her eyes, and when her bottom lip trembles, something in me cracks wide open.
“You’re going to hate me when I tell you.”
Tightening my hold on her, I lean back farther in the chair and pull her into me so my face is hovering just above hers. “Never, baby girl.”
The fact that she even thinks that’s a possibility pisses me off.
“My mom was a drug addict and a prostitute. My father was a businessman who traveled between Vegas and Seattle. He had a lot of money and didn’t want her seeing other men, so he paid all her living expenses to be his on-call girlfriend. As soon as my mom told him she was pregnant with his kid, he destroyed her. He kicked her out of the apartment he’d gotten for her, took away her car. From there, she spiraled. She started drinking while she was pregnant with me. And then, after I was born, she began using hard drugs. We lived in the gutter of Las Vegas. Sometimes we literally slept on the street.”
I thought my heart was black and dead. I didn’t think it was able to be broken. Yet with each word she speaks, it happens. A pain I didn’t know a person could feel. Part of me wants to stop her and tell her she doesn’t have to go on, but I have to hear it all. I have to know.
“I spent a lot of time alone,” she says shakily. “Then, as I got older, she started bringing men around if we had an apartment. I guess to save on hotel rooms or something.”
My jaw aches as I grind my teeth together, my fingers digging into her for dear life because I don’t think I’ll truly be able to handle what I think she might tell me.
Her entire body trembles, and I close my eyes, holding my breath.
“I learned early on not to trust the men she was around. I felt their lingering eyes, and I knew they were bad. So I kept away from home as much as possible. I went to the library a lot. That’s where I met Jason. He was in college and studied there most days.
“I was sixteen when my mom brought her drug dealer home to our apartment and told me to give him my virginity to pay off her debt so he would give her more crack.”
I think I’m going to die right fucking here. At Quinn’s perfect little feet. How can I possibly withstand this pain in my chest right now? How could her mother do that to her? For drugs?
Quinn’s fingers find the edge of my shirt, and she slides them in to touch my chest, instantly grounding me. Finally, I can breathe.
“My mom left and he… um,” She sniffles, and it destroys me, but I stay silent. I need to know what happened to her so I can decide what to do. “He attacked me in my bedroom, but somehow, I fought my way out and ran. I went to Jason’s apartment. He knew what my home was like. He told me I could stay, and he kind of helped me start all over again. I never went back to my mom’s place. I left everything. He bought me some clothes and helped me fill out an application for a job. He never judged me for how my life had turned out.” She shrugs, then shakes her head. “I thought he didn’t, anyway. He was really good at hiding his true colors. And in a way, I’m glad he did because if it hadn’t been for him, I’m not sure where I’d be.”
I slide my hand over her silky hair, cradling her head in my palm so I can see her beautiful doe eyes. “You’re so fucking strong, sunshine. Even without him, I know you would have clawed your way out of that shit your mom put you through.”
She smiles weakly. “I’d like to think so, too, but maybe I would have just become her.”
“What happened between you and Jason? Why are you working three jobs?” I still don’t have the answers, and I need them. Because at this point, I have three new people on my hit list, possibly four. I’m undecided about her mom, depending on what else I find out about her. It wouldn’t surprise me if a couple of them are already dead if they were using hard drugs.
“We were together. He graduated from college. I didn’t graduate from high school, and I was underage, so I worked at restaurants until I turned twenty-one. Then I started working in bars because it pays more money. While we were together, I only worked two jobs. I wanted to save up to buy a house one day. Even if it was just a tiny one. I made the mistake of handing over my earnings to him and trusting that he was saving them for our future. He was an accountant after all. I was cleaning one day and found a bag of cocaine in his pocket along with condoms. He had already been treating me like crap for a while, but I thought he was just stressed because of work.
“I confronted him, and we got into a huge fight. He started throwing things at me and saying horrible things. He called me trash and told me I was delusional for thinking I could have a future with someone like him. I realized he was high, so I left because I knew how dangerous the situation could get if I stuck around. I went to work, and by the time I got home, he’d cleared the apartment of everything. In a six-hour shift, he took away everything we’d built. I was crushed, but in a way, I think I was relieved. I knew deep down I didn’t love Jason. I cared about him and was thankful, but he didn’t give me what I needed.”
I press a kiss to the side of her head. “You needed a Daddy like me to take care of you, baby. That’s what you needed, and that’s what you should have gotten. That piece of shit didn’t deserve you.”
She sniffles again and uses the back of her hand to wipe her cheek. But not before I count the tears rolling down them because this Jason motherfucker is going to pay for each one.
God, I can’t wait.
A Savage will be coming for them all.
CHAPTER 26
Quinn
HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE
