I fucking loathe her. But the way I feel about it isn’t important.
It’s about doing what’s right for my girl. So she doesn’t feel any guilt weighing down on her, but it’s so she’s free of the responsibility for someone who never took any for her, too.
She cries quietly in my arms for a long time. Every once in a while, she hiccups or sniffles, and it kills something inside me to know she’s so sad and there’s nothing I can do to make the guilt go away. I can fix the situation, but that doesn’t change the emotional side of it. That part is so deep within her being that she may never fully get over it. How is it possible for people to do that? Forgive their parents for doing horrible things to them. I can’t even begin to imagine. We were lucky to have two parents who loved each other and all their kids equally.
I wonder how long she’s needed a safe place to do this. Forever, probably. That bastard Jason never provided security for her. I can’t wait to find him. He’s on the fucking list. I’m coming for him. Soon.
Once she goes quiet and her breathing evens out, I shift her slightly so I can see her beautiful, soulful eyes. “Do you trust me, sunshine?”
It’s a dangerous question. She could say no, which would hurt like hell. The only thing I want in life is for Quinn to trust me to take care of her.
Honestly, I don’t know where I stand with her. Does she have the same kind of feelings for me, or is she just going along with this because I’m dangerous and powerful? She’s never acted as though she’s afraid or doesn’t want this thing between us, but I’ve read situations wrong before. Maybe I’m only seeing things through my rose-tinted lens.
Her defeated expression kills me and lights a fire in me at the same time. “I need to know if you trust me to take care of you. To make the right decision for you.”
She stares into my eyes for a long time, her lashes still wet from crying. “I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you. You’re a dangerous man, but not to me.”
My chest tightens, and my throat closes in. The weight of her answer sits heavier than I expected. Closing my eyes for a second, I let it settle within me. I’m not an emotional man, but she makes me feel…something. More than I’ve ever felt for anyone else.
“I’m going to find new accommodations for your mom. I promise to make sure they are up to par and that she will be kept comfortable for the remainder of her life. She’ll get all the care she needs. After she’s settled, you can decide whether you want to continue to see her or not. I’ll support whatever choice you make. Whatever you want, sunshine, I have your back.”
Quinn’s eyes widen, and she starts shaking her head, her two French braids flipping over her shoulders. “Xander, no. It’s not your responsibility to take care of my mom.”
“It’s not yours either. Your mom is not your responsibility, baby.Youwerehers, and she failed to give you what you needed.” My words are harsher than I mean, but fuck, if it were up to me, her mom would be buried in the desert already. “You are now mine to take care of. To protect. I have the means and resources to handle it. It’s time to hand over the hard shit to Daddy so you can take a breath and stop working so much.”
The tension in the air is so thick. She’s going to fight me on things. I already know it. She’s not Nicola. She isn’t here to fuck me over or use me. Quinn is good down to her core.Toogood if you ask me.
“You really want me? This? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a supermodel.”
My jaw tightens. “Sunshine, do you want me to put you over my knee right now? Because it’s pissing me off that you talk down about yourself.”
“Xander—”
“Daddy,”I correct.
She sucks in a breath, clearly struggling to decide whether she wants to defy me on this or if she wants to give in.
“Daddy,” she repeats softly. My good girl. “I’m just pointing out the truth. I’m messy. I have trauma and things that trigger me.”
“Look at me,” I command.
She immediately obeys, raising her gaze to meet mine.
“I’m fucked up, too. I have my own demons. I’m not perfect. I sure as hell don’t deserve you. But I’ve tried to keep you at arm’s length. I’ve tried to tell myself I could live without you, but I can’t. I don’t want to. So give me your trauma, hand me your insecurities, and let me in, baby.”
A tear slips down her cheek, and she raises her hand to slide her fingers over my jaw. “I don’t need you to fix everything or throw money at it. The only thing I want is you.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I inwardly flinch as my dad’s last words replay in my mind. Sadness floods me, and I stay silent for a long time. My parents would’ve loved Quinn.
Gently brushing some of her stray hairs away from her face, I study her. My sunshine. The bright to my dark.
“You have me. All of me. So let me take care of you.”
I’m asking, but it’s already in the works. I already had one of our admin assistants tour the top facilities in the area. She’s chosen one already and has filled out all the necessary paperwork. I’ve paid the fees and then some.
“I’m nother.”
Nicola.
