I was too tired and drained as it was.
“I know your personal . . . feelings . . . on Bonds, Rohak. But I need to know that they won’t get in the way of what we need to do. Not just for us, but for Elyria as a whole. There is much more at stake here than we realize,” he said offhandedly as I went to leave the room. I paused at the threshold, hand gripping the doorframe tightly.
“I’ll figure it out, Alois. You won’t need to worry about me or my loyalty,” I ground out, disappointed and shocked that he thought he even needed to mention it.
Alois didn’t say anything, simply sipped from his glass again.
“Very well,” he blew out eventually. “We leave in a week for Hestin. Prepare how you must. I’ll select Mages as recipients for this Bond.”
I thanked him before striding from the study and up to my room, mind whirling.
Chapter 58
Ellowyn
Asmall green tendril of magic unfurled from my hand and quickly shot toward the wilting vine my tutor placed in the middle of the room.
Where is she finding all of these dying plants?
The thought momentarily caused my focus to waver and my magic abruptly died. I huffed in frustration, pushing some errant strands of hair off my face.
“You need tofocus, Ellowyn. All of magic is about focus, surely you were taught this?” My tutor, Mistress Lautaro, was a Creation Mage of personal selection by my parents. She was older, even older than them, with stark-white hair that was always pulled back into a tight bun. Her skin was slightly wrinkled, her mouth always set in a grim line that sometimes transformed into a frown, especially in moments when I didn’t perform to her expectations. Which was almost always. She wore heavy brocade dresses with overcoats that covered her from chin to toe, and I always wondered how she could move in them and not overheat in the warming air.
My face and back were sweating, my blonde hair long since pulled back into a hasty braid, but small errant curls still found a way out of their confines to stick to my forehead and neck. It was solidlysummer and Hestin’s weather was responding in kind. I averted my gaze from Mistress Lautaro’s sharp one, in favor of the long windows that looked outside. I sighed longingly.
This time last year I was reading in the woods or secretly helping our staff with the garden. The feel of earth beneath my feet, the caress of grass, the delicate work of creating something beautiful out of a small seed of nothing. I closed my eyes, practically able to smell the grass and plants as they grew under the humid sun.
My body tingled and I felt content.
I was at peace.
“Ellowyn!” Mistress Lautaro snapped, pulling me from my bubble of peace. “Control! You must focus and gain control! You lost it . . . again!”
I reluctantly opened my eyes to see plants and greenery sprouting everywhere in the room—between the cracks of stone that lined the floor, from the windowsill, and up the walls. Almost the entire room was covered in green, and I giggled, in awe of my ability.
Mistress Lautaro, however, was not as pleased.
“Yetanotherroom we must have the staff clean. Your parents are running out of rooms for you, girl. If you cannot focus, I simply might have to turn in my resignation,” she barked.
I sighed. Despite my disdain for Mistress Lautaro, I didn’t want her to leave. If Mistress Lautaro left, she’d undoubtedly blame me, which in turn would cause Mother to have a conniption fit. The one blessing of Mistress Lautaro’s lessons was the lack of time I had to spend with Mother learning about how to become a “good wife.”
I wrinkled my nose at the thought.
As excited as I was to become Torin’s wife, I was equally as unenthused with the lessons that accompanied my betrothal. My mother doubled down on our previous lessons. Instead of learning decorum and manners, I was instructed on how to plan the perfect soiree, and to my utter embarrassment, my duties as a wife in the bedroom.
“Ellowyn!” Mistress Lautaro snapped her fingers and I jumped. “Are you even listening to me? No, I would gather not since you can’t seem to find any sort of control.” She massaged her temples with both wrinkled hands. “We are done for the day. Go practice some of your exercises in restraint or something. Just . . . get out of my sight.”
A smile broke out across my face, and I worked quickly to school it. I curtsied briefly to Mistress Lautaro before practically running from the room.
Wives of lords don’t run, Ellowyn. They walk. Quickly if need be, but they walk.
My mother’s voice echoed in my head, and I sighed internally, slowing my gait to a clipping walk, head held high. She was having the servants report back to her on my behavior, or lack thereof, and I was now expected to behave as a lady should at all times.
My only saving grace was the short visits I got to have with Peytor and Finian late at night in Peytor’s rooms. They’d been spending as much time together as possible, which albeit wasn’t much. Both our father and Matteo were intensely training Peytor and Finian to take over their positions, so their days were full of meetings.
But they sometimes sacrificed their precious time together to invite me over and give me time to relax and simplybewithout the constraints put on me by our mother and Mistress Lautaro.
I sped through the halls, hell-bent on reaching the garden before I could be stopped, or found, by Mother. Just as I turned the corner that would lead to our personal garden, I heard her call out behind me.
