Clear bed for the next dying person.
It seemed like I worked for days, and I was completely numb by the time I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.
Clean the dressings.
Man with a fire burn needs his dressings changed.
Child with smoke inhalation needs more oxygen from an Air Mage.
Where was an Air Mage?
I started frantically looking for someone,anyone,with Air Magic available to help the child.
“. . . Fay. Fay!” Someone was shaking my shoulder and saying my name loudly. I slowly turned my head and stared unblinkingly at the woman standing in front of me. Blonde curly hair was falling off the top of her head, she was coated in blood and other bodily fluids. Her face was streaked with soot and blood, her eyes tired and worried.
Worried for me?
It took me longer than I would admit for my brain to slowly climb from the fog it was in.
I know her. Sharol.
Slowly the sounds of the world trickled back into my consciousness. Men, women, and children crying and groaning in pain. The crackling of the fire as it continued to roar. But what was notably absent was the sound of flames and fighting outside. The inn was lit with a soft hazyglow, and I realized that we had worked through the night and well into the next day.
I began to sway on my feet as exhaustion and the emotions from the day hit me.
“C-child n-needs a-air and I can’tgivehim air because I’m useless. I have no magic, I-I can’t help, and he can’t breathe and no one else has magic to help him and if he doesn’t get the air he’s going to die. Andoh, godsanother child cannot die tonight, they can’t, Sharol. How do I get him air? He needs air!” I was subtly aware that I was spiraling and wasn’t breathing.
“Hey, Fay, hey.” Sharol framed my face with her hands. “Breathe. Breathe with me. In and out. In and out.”
I clutched her hands as they sat on my face and focused on her chest as it moved.
In and out. In and out. I could do that.
I tried to match my breathing with hers and slowly felt my body relax.
“Better?” she asked with so much care. I nodded, my face scraping along her bloody palms. She nodded and removed her hands from my face but kept them on my upper arms. “He’ll be okay, Fay. I’ll draw an Air Rune on his chest, and he’ll be fine. You did good, Fay. So good.” There were tears in her eyes and, as dehydrated as I was, mine pooled to match hers. “You need to sit, Faylinn. Eat and sleep. Everyone is okay for now. You did so, so good.”
I nodded numbly, suddenly too tired to say anything more. Sharol gripped my hand and led me away from the common space toward a small door behind the bar. I assumed it led to a storage room, but as she pressed her hand to the handleless door, it popped open, and I saw a small bedroom. It was just a small bed with a dresser and a little bathroom attached, but it was private. And it wasclean.
“This is my room,” Sharol said softly as she closed the door behind her, effectively silencing the voices from the common room. After the constant noise from the past hours, the silence was deafening as it buzzed relentlessly in my ears. I shook my head to try and clear it, but it was still there.
“You’re in shock, Fay. And probably starving and dehydrated, which doesn’t help.” She gently pushed me onto the bed, but I promptly stood up. Sharol shot me a look, but I couldn’t say anything. I simply started taking off my clothes.
They were dirty. Too dirty for this place.
Soot from the fires.
Fluid from the child missing an eye.
Blood from the woman with the stomach wound.
Sleeve torn from the grieving father when I told him I couldn’t save his wife or his child.
My hands began to shake as the memories of the night came swarming back all at once. I couldn’t grasp my shirt, let alone unlace my pants. My hands were covered in soot and blood, and my feet matched. I felt like I was covered in the pain and suffering from tonight and I’d never be able to scrub it off, I’d never be clean or free from it all.
A wrenching sob came from somewhere in the room and I didn’t realize it was from me until I saw the tears splashing against my dirty hands. I felt like I was going to collapse until a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and gently lowered me to the floor. I turned my head into Sharol’s shoulder as sobs aggressively wracked my body. She and I were both covered in grime and blood, but I didn’t care at that minute. Sharol just held me as I released all the pent-up emotion from the day. My tears and snot soaked her chest as my body continued to shake.
What felt like an eternity later, my sobs subsided to soft sniffles, and I was able to open my swollen eyes. I gently pushed up and out of Sharol’s tight grip just enough to wipe my nose with the sleeve of my shirt but not enough to leave her embrace entirely. My body was still shaking, whether from the expulsion of emotion or lack of sustenance over the last twenty-four hours, I wasn’t sure. It was probably a combination of everything, in all honesty.
