“Because I trust you,” I said with a shrug. Her light-brown cheeks pinked prettily before she offered me a sheepish smile.
“Oh. Okay,” she said as her eyes darted to the page in her hands. “Do you prefer women? Or men?”
“Women,” I gruffed quickly. I could appreciate the male form, but I found no sexual attraction to men—a difficult thing to overcome when the Bond needed to be sealed through sex.
“Sure.” Faylinn made a quick note on her page, crossing off a few lines and circling others. “Age preference?”
“No children,” I barked, and Faylinn looked slightly appalled that I’d even suggest she would put children on the list.
“Everyone is over the age of twenty-four, Rohak,” she admonished slightly, and I winced at the ice in her tone.
“Sorry. This is just a lot for me.”
Faylinn’s face softened at my admission before turning back to the list in her hands, making a few more notes before circling and underlining one final name.
“I think we’ll go with Gisei, then. She’s twenty-eight and still living with her parents. She’s from an upper-class family, so maybe they’d be more open to Bonding their daughter?” There was hope and skepticism in her voice, but I found my interest in the whole affair draining rapidly.
“Just make the choice and plan the whole thing. I don’t care. Truly,” I bit out, and Faylinn slumped slightly.
“I know this isn’t what you want,” she said after a few moments of silence. “I know you’d rather find your True Bond naturally. But . . . Rohak, you’lldieif you wait any longer for a Bond.” Her voice took on an urgency I’d never heard from her before, and I slowly turned my face from the warmth of the fire only to see anguish written on her features. “I’ve already lost enough people in my life that I care about. Do not ask me to lose you, too. Or be forced to make a decision that would make you hate me for the rest of our lives.”
“I could never hate you, Faylinn.” The truth came unbidden and hurried, my need to assuage her fears high. “When youLife Bonded Ben to Asha, I was frustrated, disappointed, even. But underneath it all, I understood your reasoning, and I never hated you for it. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
She smiled slightly, her features relaxing minutely with my words even as she picked nervously at her bandages.
“I care about you, too, Faylinn. And I’d rather not die if that meant I would upset you,” I tried to joke, but the humor fell flat.
“It’d be wildly inconvenient, considering you, Lex, and now Ellowyn are my only friends here,” she said with a small smile, and my chest warmed at the motion.
“Is that what we are, Faylinn? Friends?” My voice took on a raspy quality as I thought about wanting to bemorethan friends with her.
Faylinn laughed loud and bright. “Yes, Rohak. I think we’re friends.”
I smiled, though there was a slight, painful edge to it. If friends was all I could be with her, I would take it. Even though it would pain me to see her with someone else. Because, eventually, she would be with someone. Faylinn was smart, resourceful, intelligent, and beautiful. The fact that no one else had seen that yet was astounding to me.
“Care to tell me what happened with Lord d’Refan?” Faylinn hedged, and I shook myself from my thoughts, surprised at the abrupt turn of conversation.
“What?”
“Well, considering we’re friends and all, I just figured friends should tell friends what happened tonight.”
My lips quirked in a smile before they fell again.
“I’ll tell you if you tell me more about your research?”
Faylinn chewed her lip again, and I longed to remove it from between her teeth. At this rate, she’d have no skin left if she continued gnawing on it. Hesitantly, Faylinn nodded.
“Yes. But what I will tell you has to stay between us. It’s . . . important. A secret between friends.”
I nodded my head in agreement. “A secret for a secret.”
I’d take all her secrets and keep them safe until my dying breath.
Chapter 48
Faylinn
Rohak looked so fragile sitting in the armchair, lit only by the light of the fire. It was late—much later than I intended on staying at the Academy—and my books and bed were calling me like a siren’s song. But nothing could pull me away from the enigmatic man who sat across from me.
