“So how are we supposed to play that game, Alois? What are we supposed todo? What is the whole fucking point?” I turned on my husband, my ire and frustration turning my cheeks a vibrant shade of red as I shouted at him.
The echoes of my voice rang through the streets, the Mages halting their duties to stare at the spectacle of Alois and me.
“You train and you fight, Ellowyn,” Alois said loud enough for everyone to hear before whispering in my ear. “You, above all others, were created to fight them. Make no mistake, Ellowyn, it is not by chance that you hold two powers without need of a Vessel.”
My arms fell to my sides as I thought about the dreams I’d had, the conversations with Fate, even my ability to access the Dreamscape. The color drained from my face and my voice came out a broken whisper.
“Tell me what you know, Alois. Tell me everything.”
“Not here.” Alois shook his head. “I have something to show you back in Vespera. Then, we can talk.”
With that ominous statement, he strode away toward a group of Mages struggling to pile corpses together in an effort to create a central burning pile. My eyes skittered over the vile destruction and unnecessary death before meeting Lex’s dark-brown orbs, and I suddenly got the feeling that the private conversation between Alois and I wasn’t so private after all.
It wasno surprise that I found myself in the Dreamscape. After we finished scouting and cleaning the mess in Cellia, we camped for the night just outside the city limits. Lex and Alois figured it was far enough removed from the stench of death that the cadets would be able to sleep with little issue. That was true for most, but not all.
Even before I fell into a restless sleep, I could have sworn I felt the spirits of those who died in Cellia lingering. It was unnerving, to say the least.
But my worries seemed to evaporate as soon as I saw Torin waiting for me in the Dreamscape. He looked tired and worried, his hair was mussed as if he’d run his fingers through it constantly before bed, but he still looked incandescently happy to see me.
The tension I didn’t even realize I was holding in my neck and back began to unwind as soon as I saw the outline of his figure against the brilliant light of the magic in the sky.
“Torin,” I cried brokenly before running to him. He turned as soon as he heard my voice, arms outstretched and ready to encircle my waist as soon as I threw myself at him.
“Ell,” he breathed reverently into my messy hair. I took deep, shuddering breaths, filling my lungs with the smell of spice and sunshine; it was a marked upgrade from the scent of death and decay. We stood like that for a moment, simply reveling in each other’s presence. My arms squeezed him tightly once before I released just enough that I could pull my head from his neck and see his face.
“Are you okay?” he asked, the worry returning to his hazel irises. I shrugged in response.
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” I admitted, chewing my lip in thought.
“Tell me about it?” Torin commanded softly and nuzzled my nose into his chest, playfully biting at the nipple beneath his shirt. “None of that tonight, Ell. I want to hear what happened.”
I sighed and pulled my head up from his chest with a pout.
“I can’t distract you with sex?”
Torin scoffed a laugh as a calloused palm came up to cup my face while his other hand tenderly brushed stray hairs from my brow.
“Not tonight, sweetheart.”
I huffed indignantly but wilted under Torin’s intense stare; it was like he could see directly through my soul, past the bluster and defense, through the bullshit and hurt.
Torin saw me.
“We saw Cellia today,” I whispered, and Torin’s mouth thinned into an almost indiscernible line.
“Fuck, sweetheart. I’m so sorry,” he whispered as his hands continued to rub comforting circles on my back and face.
I shrugged. “I knew this is what war does, what happens when innocents get caught in the middle, or gods forbid, try to stand up to tyranny. I just didn’t expect it to be so . . .” I trailed off, unable to find the right word to describe the horrors of what I saw today.
“Disgusting? Horrifying?” Torin supplied, and I nodded.
“Yeah. Both of those.”
The sky roiled and writhed, the magic agitated beyond measure. The atmosphere of the Dreamscape felt like it did when I broke the mountain with my Destruction Magic.
I released those horrors into this world.
The guilt lay heavy in my heart tonight.
