Solace and Kaos were here. The rebellion was here.
The second Sundering was upon us.
And it would begin with my death.
Chapter 79
Faylinn
“Lex,” I said as I cautiously approached his desk. I’d searched all day for him—the library, the empty training grounds, even Rohak’s office—but hadn’t caught a glimpse of the tall, wiry Mage.
Lex never raised his head from his work as I continued my trek to his side, trying to make noise to alert him of my presence. He simply added a quick note to the margin of the paper he was reading before placing it in one of two piles on his desk before reaching for another. Gently, I rested my hand on top of the paper. Lex jolted at the sudden appearance of my fingers, his eyes wide with surprise before a small smile quirked the edges of his lips.
“Hello, Fay,” he said, a slight crack to his voice as if he hadn’t used it in a while. “What brings you in here?”
I shrugged before sitting in one of the chairs opposite, the journal Sirak gave me clutched tightly in my grasp.
“Oh, uhm. Nothing.” I winced at the pitch of my voice. Lex wouldn’t need the use of the King’s powers to see through that lie.
He raised his eyebrows before leaning his head against one of his fists. His messy brown hair flopped about and into his eyes with the movement before he brushed it back and out of his line of sight. Lex looked relaxed despite the breaking of his Bond with Sasori, and I was worried my real reason for seeking him out would ruin that peace.
“How about we try that again, Rune Master,” Lex said dryly. “Why are you here?”
I took a deep breath before setting the journal on his desk with both hands. I patted it slightly before removing my fingers and twining them in my lap. Lex’s expression never changed; he simply cast his eyes to the book and back to my face.
“A book?” he asked, and I nodded silently. He reached for it and quickly flipped open the cover before slamming it closed just as swiftly. A muscle ticked in his jaw and his nostrils flared as the hand fisting his pen clenched so tightly I heard his knuckles pop.
“Where did you get this?” he gritted between his teeth. If I didn’t know the Pleasure and Pain Mage, I’d say he was incensed at me for presenting him with the journal. But I could see the flash of worry and pain behind his eyes—he was embarrassed, the memories the journal evoked painfully washing over him.
“Sirak,” I muttered, and Lex closed his eyes on an exhale.
“Of course. I should have known better. You spend so much time in that godsdamned library that he was bound to give it to you at some point.”
I sat silently, twisting my fingers together before speaking again.
“I’d like to hear about it, from you. And . . .” I paused, gathering my thoughts and what I knew to be true from Sharol’s—my mother’s—letter. “I want you to tell me about . . . me.”
Lex’s jaw dropped and the pen clattered to the floor as his face lost all color.
“H-how . . . how do you know? Your memories . . . are—are they back?” he whispered, and I shook my head and watched as his body deflated before tensing again.
“I don’t know. Not really. It’s just something my mother said in the letter I have from her.”
Lex sat silently for another moment before leaning back in his chair, his normally youthful countenance appearing a full decade older than his actual age.
“Are you sure you want to know, Fay?” he asked, his words stilted and broken.
I nodded my head once.
“It’s not . . . pretty. Or particularly pleasant. Neither of our stories are,” he said, sadness lacing every word.
“I’m sure,” I whispered. “I have to know. It’s . . . important.”
Lex sighed, his eyelids closing before fluttering open again. Where I normally saw laughter and happiness, I only saw pain and sadness.
“I knew it would come to this. I just tricked myself into thinking maybe you’d get your memories back and I’d never have to tell you.” His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “Please don’t think differently of me after this.”
I shook my head before reaching across the desk to wrap his pale hand with one of my own light-brown ones. “Never, Lex. Never.”
