A hot flush came over me at those words. “And you want me to take them for you?”
“I do,” he said.
To give and to take. My body was tingling with anticipation. “Your place?”
“Wherever I can tease you.”
The server brought a dessert menu but I shook my head. “Never mind,” I said.
***
His hand danced up and down my thigh as we drove back to his lakehouse. His fingertips tickled me, making goosebumps on my skin, my mouth open in anticipation.
At Nate’s house, he led me to his bedroom: a spacious room overlooking the lake, the moon shining down in a long streak of water. I stood at the edge of his bed—massive, so much bigger than the full we had slept in the last time I was there. A bookshelf was in one corner, completely full, and a large closed cabinet on the other side of the large window.
He came towards me, predatorial and greedy. A hunger came over his eyes. He held my shoulders, pushing me towards the wall, holding me against it until his tongue was deep in my throat, and I melted in his touch, moaned, wanting so much more of him. He pulled my shirt over his head, grasping my breasts, the bra the only barrier between us.
“You are exquisite,” he said. He stepped back, his eyes never leaving me, and took off his shirt. The dark hair on his chest, the sculpted body, his strong jaw, his eyes still holding me. He pressed me against the wall again, drinking me in a kiss. His hand dipped between my bra and my breast, and I reached behind my back and undid the hooks. I was eager to be his.
“Forty-three,” he breathed.
“Forty-three,” I answered.
I playfully bent over the bed, and looked at him over my shoulder. From the look on his face, I knew there was nothing in the world that mattered to him more at that moment than being with me. And I wanted every part of him. Even the darkness.
“It’s a large number,” he said. “I’m feeling generous.”
He gestured at the cabinet, and I went to open it: all of the toys from that first night at the Afterglow were there: the crops, the canes, the wooden paddle. And down at the very bottom of the cabinet, almost hidden out of view, was a wooden paddle with gleaming spikes.
“I can pick?” I asked.
“You can pick.”
I held the spiked paddle, then turned around to him. Nate’s neck stiffened at the instrument. “You said you hadn’t used it in a while,” I said. I tilted my head. “You said something about ignoring safewords. But what’s the story behind it? What actually happened?”
“Another time,” he said. “Not tonight.”
“I thought I could choose.” He stared at me, and I knew there was a memory he wasn’t willing to share with me. But I had faith in him, and I wanted him to know that. “I trust you.”
“Forty-three strikes is more than that paddle is supposed to be used for.”
“Then take it slow. You don’t have to go full force.”
He stared at me, then gestured at the bed. I handed it to him.
“There is no halfway with this instrument.” I didn’t care. I wanted to see what he was hesitant to show me. I bent over, offering myself to him. “We’ll get started another way.”
He yanked down my pants and smacked my ass, the echo of skin to skin making me gasp. My mouth fell open. There had to be a handprint this time.
“Forty-three will mark you,” he said.
“I want to wear your marks.”
His hand landed on my ass again, this time, his nails digging into my flesh, making me cry out. “Be careful what you wish for,” he said.
Another, and another, and another, in such quick succession that I could barely make out what was going on. I writhed and Nate leaned into me, keeping my body still, making me take every action he threw against my ass, conquering me, even when I resisted. Making me his. He forced me to take it, even when I tried to get away. It was frightening.
But I didn’t tell him to stop. I wanted to take it. I wanted him. Even this.
