The air was cool, and though we were away from the highway, the rustle of traffic was still audible. Down the back alley, a few cars were parked behind the massage parlor. They wouldn’t bother with us though.
When things got bad with my step-father, I used to come to places like this. Empty parking lots. Abandoned buildings. Lots of people get mugged out here, but rarely does anyone mess with a kid hiding behind a dumpster. And when they do, and realize the kid has nothing, the guilt sets in, and they leave the kid alone. I always hid from it all, until he turned on Mom. I couldn’t run away after that.
I handed Hazel my keys. “Hold it like a knife. Try to stab me in the eye.”
She took a step back, a gasp hitched in her throat. “What?”
“Don’t think.” I stepped forward and fixed her palm around the metal. “Stab me. Don’t hold back.”
A slight shrug relaxed on her shoulders, and she came at me, arms up, ready to stab. If I wasn’t agitated, I would have grinned; I knew she had it in her. But I grabbed her arm, stopping her mid-strike, then pulled her down, locking her arms in my grasp.
“You need to learn to get out of situations like this,” I said. She struggled and grunted, pulling from my arms, but she couldn’t move. I tightened my grip to show her that I wasn’t trying hard to restrain her; this wasn’t my full effort. “You need to be able to defend yourself.”
“Let go, asshole,” she hissed.
I let her go, and she stumbled forward, but caught herself.
“There will be times when I can’t protect you,” I said.
She coughed out a laugh. “Because this is protecting me.”
“You need to be careful. Watch your surroundings. Be on guard.”
I lunged at her, wrapping my thick biceps around her chest, locking her into a bear hug. “Try to get out.” She thrust her weight back and forth in a frenzy, but to no avail. She was panting, out of breath. The scent of her fear was intoxicating. Musky. Potent.
“I am trying,” she hissed.
“Use all of your might.”
She flung herself, trying to break free, growling in anger, but I hoisted her closer to me, feeling the weight of her body against me. Teach, I thought. Don’t think. Not about him. Not about Mom. How you let her down. Tell Hazel what she needs to do. Tell her how to stay safe.
“Bend forward,” I said. “Thrust your elbows. Loosen my grip.”
She bent forward, but the more she moved, the more I tightened my hold on her. Wanting to give her an out, I relaxed a little, letting her escape from my grasp. She fell forward, a grimace on her face, and caught herself on the ground. She wiped her mouth. Sweat glistened on her forehead. Her musky scent, that thin sheen of coconut coming through and the anger in her eyes, stirred something inside of me.
She plowed forward, splaying her fists, but I held her grip mid-swing. Then I held her pointer finger, pushing it back as far as it would go. It was unnecessary to hurt her like this, but I wanted to. I wanted to see if the pain would get to her like I thought it would. If she wanted it, even now.
“Ow, ow, ow,” she cried, shrinking down. “You’re hurting me!”
“This is easy for me, Hazel,” I whispered.
I used my grip on her hand to haul her forward, and she stumbled, balancing herself. In the mind of an attacker, I darted towards her, grabbing her by the hair, lifting her up. She clawed at me, huffing.
Her eyes were bleary, narrowing at me, daring me to do more. But her body shook against me, her heart thudding in her chest. The soft strands of hair in my hands. The heat of her skin against mine. She wet her lips.
Tingling needles ached across my neck. Control yourself, I thought. I let go of her, gently this time.
“You need to be careful,” I said. I walked towards the car, glancing down to the massage parlor to make sure no one had emerged. “I’ll teach you defense.”
“What do you think is going to happen?” she asked. She raised her hands. “When am I going to have to fight a giant neanderthal like you? Never, Grant. The answer is never.”
I opened the car door, waiting for her to join me. Her words stuck out:When am I going to have to fight a giant neanderthal like you? Never.
She didn’t think I was a threat. She trusted me. That was good.
But there were plenty of other threats out there. Mistakes to be corrected.
Hazel got inside of the car, and I started the engine.
