“Like I would mean anything else,” I said. “Don’t get too excited now.” She opened her mouth to explain, but I held up a hand. “I’m not judging. Like I said, I was there too. It’s a fun place.”
In truth, when Eric started sending me there, Ididenjoy myself. I liked being around like-minded freaks who wore weird clothes and didn’t do a double-take when I said that I was a masochist. But I knew going back wasn’t an option for me. Not when people like Oliver were willing to corner me. Not when a stalker was following me there.
“What’s he like?” she asked.
There was an airy quality to her words, like she was lost and wasn’t quite sure if she was in a dream or a nightmare. She must have had mixed feelings for Nate. He seemed to have that effect on people.
“He’s not the nicest person,” I offered. “But he’s tutoring me for free. As a favor.” That had to count for something, I guessed. “So he can’t be totally bad.”
The student came out of the office in tears.
Or maybe he could be that bad?
“You go first,” I said. I pointed towards the office. I could pretend to be polite while also procrastinating. It worked in my favor.
“But you were here first,” Mara said hesitantly.
“Yeah, but we’re doing a tutoring session. You’re here for whatever,” I flicked my hand above us. “Go on.”
“Thanks,” she said, with an obvious edge to her voice. She disappeared into the office, and I took out my phone. Should I make Grant piss his pants and turn off my phone? No, I didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of doing that.
I texted Christine. It had been a while since we had last chatted, and since I was on my own, I wanted to enjoy the time by myself.What are you up to?I sent.Want to meet at the Raving Rat later?
That craft beer place by LVU?she responded, quicker than I expected.I’ve got an errand to run over there actually.
Perfect, I responded.
Mara stormed out of the office, her face red, and threw a wave at me as she marched down the hallway. What had Nate done to piss her off so much? I sent Christine a follow-up text about when I could meet her there, then stood, ready to get this tutoring thing over with. But another professor cut in front of me, claiming that she would be quick. I shrugged and sank back down.
Once the professor left, Nate came to the door, offering me a hand.
“Hazel Maben?” he asked.
“Guilty as charged,” I said. I ignored his hand; I could get up by myself, thank you very much. “My abductor—I mean, my sister’s fiancé, must have told you about me.”
“Grant told me,” he said. What did Grant tell him? I looked away and blushed.
Nate grabbed his briefcase and we walked down the hallway together. Right before the elevator, he glanced at the room index. He poked his head into an office—you could tell it was a graduate student office because no hired professor would stomach sharing a broom closet with three other people—and I had this gut feeling he was looking for Mara. She was nice enough. But when I asked him, he denied it. We went to the cafe in the lobby downstairs and sat at a round table. But Nate was so damn distracted about something, probably that woman. Ugh. I didn’t have time for this.
Be nice, I thought, He’s doing me a favor. Instead of making a jab at him, I cleared my throat, trying to get him to focus. He stirred, then looked at me.
“We’re studying for the GED?” he asked.
“I have my diploma, thanks.” Grant knew that too, didn’t he? “But no. I just need to pass that stupid essay exam so I don’t have to take the writing course.”
He gave me a timed essay on why I was starting college. The kind of essay that made me want to yack on the paper and turn it into him. But I garbled out some truth, writing about how I needed to start over, to try and be honest for once, glossing over the reasons why. I’m sure Nate already knew about Dean.
I handed him the essay, and we made tutoring plans to meet at the same time every week. How long would I go to tutoring before I felt that sense of purpose Heather thought I needed? Two sessions? Fourteen? Would it take the entire semester?
“The Afterglow is having a party at my lakehouse tonight,” Nate said. “You and Grant should come.”
I blushed, turning away again. He said it like we were a couple or something. “Please,” I said. “That guy could barely let me step foot in this building without him, let alone go to a party.” I sighed. “But thanks for the invitation.”
“Most of us have stories like yours, more than you realize,” Nate said.
That was a moment of kindness that I hadn’t expected. He wasn’t a dick like I had thought, and he knew. There was no mistaking it. But he didn’t hate me like the others did, because we were both outcasts in a way. Well, me, more than him, but still. He knew what it felt like.
“That’s why I agreed to tutoring with you,” I said. “I knew you couldn’t hate me.”
