Vhoom! Crash!A searing pain ripped across my ass, bright and burning. What the hell was it? I whimpered, wiggling into the pain as much as I could, but I couldn’t do much.
It killed me to not know where he was. To not be able to see what he was doing.
Vhoom!Crash!
“Ahh!” I yelled. Another strike on my ass, on the other side this time. “This isn’t fair,” I cried. “I can’t even see you.”
But Grant returned my answer with silence. Unnerving nothingness. My hands were twitching, my heart rattling in my chest like it was holding the bars of a cage, and suddenly, I was there again, back in those cells, watching Grant unlock the doors.
Help me.
He pried open my fists and made me hold them straight, then his weapon sliced through the air, hitting my palms, making it feel like he had broken skin. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
“No more blindfold,” I hissed. I shook my head back and forth. “No more blindfold.”
“Say it,” he said. His breath pricked across the skin on my collarbone, and I could feel his body heat on mine. “One word, and the blindfold comes off.”
This is what I had wanted. To be powerless. To look blindly into the face of danger and not be able to do nothing to stop it. There was no hope. No love. No light. Only the hint of Grant’s body lost in the darkness.
It made no sense why he was here, why he was doing this for me.
I gathered saliva in my mouth and hawked it with as much force as possible, hoping the spit got on his face. He slapped me across the cheek. Gripped my chin so hard that I felt the pressure of his fingers through my body. It made me shudder.
Yes. This is what I needed. I spat at him again, but this time, he was gone. Somewhere else. The lack of touch was worse than anything. All I wanted was to feel again. To feel his hands on me.
Whack! Wham! Whack!In quick succession, he used another tool to crack down all over my body. A long instrument that whooshed through the air and crashed onto my skin in scalding torment.
Another. Another. Another.
An instrument. Not him. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t count. I couldn’t figure out where the next strike would be, they came so fast, and when another strike landed on my swollen breasts, pressed together by the rope, tender and bare, I was close to breaking. I shuddered, tears in my eyes, not wanting to let the dam break. Not yet.Not now. I needed this. I needed more of it. The thoughts were still there, threatening to destroy me.
The thoughts that wouldn’t leave me alone:
He’s doing this because he has to.
I made him do it.
He doesn’t want to be here.
That’s why he’s punishing me.
He feels trapped.
For once, the pain couldn’t chase away the thoughts. Why didn’t it work? Why fail now? The sliding of leather against skin, the whoosh of material through the air, nothing helped.
“Good girl,” he said. My heart pounded at those words. His hand rubbed my ass, feeling my tender skin, and I arched my back, wanting to bury myself inside of him. To feel his arms around me. The pain was always worth it for the release it gave me. For the touch afterward when he would hold me.
I realized it then. That was all I wanted. It was all I could think about.
Thatwas what I needed.
A violent hiss swung through the air, landing on the skin of my back. I cried, screaming out. I couldn’t stop myself. I had to scream. And I did. Again. And again. Matching the strikes he gave. Desire dripped down my legs, sweat beaded on my body, splattering with each strike. Adrenaline pulsed in every vein.
Say it, I thought. You know the word. It’s your name.
Don’t do it, I thought. You can do it. You can fight this too.
I swiveled my head back and forth violently, unable to hold back the sobs, and the blindfold fluttered to the ground. The strikes stopped, and I blinked the tears away, lifting my head. We were in a large room. Painted black walls. Only a few pieces of equipment.
A smile on his lips. Not a devilish grin, but a true expression, almost like he was proud of me. Of what I had endured. His raw, hungry eyes held me. Rustic and brown. Captivating. Admiring me. Glittering with tenderness that I didn’t deserve.
The weight of my body pulled at the ropes, and Grant rushed forward, the belt falling to the floor.
I collapsed.
