CHAPTER 17
Hazel
Grant’s lips and tongue against my skin were delicate, but deliberate. Sensual. He took his time, kissing along my neck, my ear, running his lips against the lobe. He breathed into my ear, a quickened inhale. I dug my fingernails into his back, wanting to make sure he wouldn’t go anywhere. I needed him now. I needed him with me.
“Stay still,” he commanded. The words were quiet, but full of passion. My sex tightened. Through choked breaths, I tried to do what he said. I held myself still. His fingertips brushed my skin, easing the clothing off, massaging me. It almost hurt to feel him touch me like this. To be under his scrutiny. To know that he was giving me everything. His soft touch. His sweet attention. When I deserved none of it. When I deserved so much worse.
When I opened my eyes, he held himself above me, looking down into my face. He wiped away the tears and kissed my cheeks, holding my head in his hands, rubbing his thumbs along the sides of my face. His hazelnut brown eyes gleamed, as if I was a marvel to him.
“You are beautiful,” he said.
I forced myself to stare back at him, to search him too, to find the lies. But Grant wasn’t telling me any lies. Not right now.
He cupped my breast, feeling down to sex, caressing me with tenderness. “Let go,” he said. And I wanted to. I wanted to forget everything, but it was hard. He inched down, kissing me along the way, and when he came to my clit, he sucked and toyed with mellow strokes of his tongue that made me ache with need. He licked my folds, circling his tongue back to my clit. I reached for the back of his head, wanting to hold him in place there, but he thrust my wrists back down onto the bed. Forcing me to stay still. To let go. To be there with him, body and mind.
And he ravaged me, worshipping my sex. I had never let a guy do that before, had never wanted it. It felt lush, my need dripping down, my skin perspiring in a warm sheen. My legs started shaking and pleasure washed over me, making me flush. He added a finger, coaxing me from the inside, and with his tongue twirling around my clit, an electric heat coursed through me. The pleasure was too much. Even as I pulled away, Grant held my thighs, digging his mouth deeper, his finger kneading me. Not letting me go. Forcing me to endure it. I lost control, twitching and convulsing, bucking my hips into his face, moaning in need.
A smug smile was across his face. He peered down at me, basking in the glow of an orgasm. The first one I had ever had that didn’t involve pain.
It was different though. It wasn’t simply pleasure. It was hard to take it. To force me to endure pure affection. I admit that I was stunned.
He pulled off his clothes, tossing them to the floor, and his thick, muscular legs knelt on the bed. He grabbed my hips, pulling me to him, and lifted me up. His cock was heavy and thick, making my breath catch in my throat as he slid slowly inside of me. He lifted my legs, resting my ankles on his chest and shoulders, and he pulsed there, swaying his hips, his cock hitting my g-spot. He rubbed my clit with his thumb, licking his lips as he watched me. I was already close. Humiliated that this was all that it took. When I reached the peak, I closed my eyes, trying to contain myself and wait for him too, but I couldn’t stop myself. Passion burst through me, and seeing me like that edged Grant closer too. He slammed down on top of me, fisting my hair, holding me so that I had to look at him. His body was covering mine. And when he came, he came with his entire body. As if this meant everything to him. Then we both collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.
As I drifted away, I thought I could hear him say something, but I couldn’t quite make it out. Like the words were floating away too. I need you, Hazel. I need you.Needflashed in my mind like a bright sign that was fading more with each moment. I opened my eyes, looking into his loving face, those deep brown eyes. Then I fell asleep.
***
When I woke up, it was nighttime. My bedroom didn’t have any windows to prove it, but the shadows from the hall confirmed it. Grant wasn’t in bed beside me, but I could hear him downstairs. Rummaging through cupboards. Opening and closing the fridge. After I put on some sweat pants and a tank top, I went downstairs and found him hovering over the stove.
“Hungry?” he asked.
It made me smile. He was the first man who had cooked for me like this. Come to think of it, he was also the first person I had fallen asleep with after sex. The only man I had felt comfortable enough to be that vulnerable with.
“Starving,” I said. On the stove was a melty mix of noodles, cheese, broccoli, and chicken.
“It’s a box mix,” he explained, “but I added to it.”
I sat on the stool, watching him as he finished up. My stomach growled loudly, and he heard it, a subtle grin on his lips as he slid a bowl in front of me. “Eat up,” he said.
Grant stood behind the counter, shoveling large spoonfuls into his mouth. It was delicious. Creamy and rich, but it didn’t feel heavy. Neither of us spoke until we were finished. He took the bowls and started washing our dishes.
“Thank you,” I said sheepishly. “I needed that.”
And it was more than the food that I needed. The way he cared for me, through and through, made me feel like for the first time in my life, I wasn’t alone.
I looked off to the side, staring into the distance, seeing those gray, dead eyes. A man who had died alone.
No. I couldn’t think about that. Not now. Not when I was so close to feeling something good.
“Hey,” Grant said, coming around the counter, holding my hands. “Don’t go there.” I blinked up at him, trying to see him, to ground myself. “Let’s think about something else.” He sat on the stool next to me. “Have you given any thought to what you want to do?”
“Are you asking if I want to go back to selling overpriced drinks in booty shorts? The answer is no,” I said. He smiled at that, and I did too. It was promising that I felt good enough to joke around. Then I remembered that I had lost my key card to the apartment. I would have to go back to Peaches to search again, to see if Fremont Street had a lost and found bin. But I couldn’t let Grant find out that I had lost it, until I found it again. I shrugged. “The only reason I chose Peaches was to be closer to Christine.”
“But it’s not enough of a reason now,” he said.
For once, I agreed. “Not with the stalker chasing me.” I wrapped my arms around myself. An idea sparked in my mind, that maybe the stalker had stolen my key card, but I shook it away. I couldn’t think like that. Not now. And besides, I was prone to losing stuff. It would turn up eventually. It was probably in my bedroom. Maybe I had forgotten it because Grant and I drove to Peaches together. Either way, I wasn’t going to work at Peaches ever again. “I don’t know what. But I want something else.”
“What about Micki?” he said. “That girl from Riverside.”
