“Do you want to talk about what I said the other night?” I asked, my tone more accusatory than I intended, as if he hadmademe say it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
Fine. We could do this the hard way.
“So, I love you, all right?” I let out a big sigh. “That’s not a secret. And I love the way you showed me what love is. Not just pain. But love. How good it can feel to be held. That I don’t always need to scratch that masochistic itch.” One of his eyebrows lifted, and that was all I needed to keep going. “But that doesn’t mean that I want everything to be soft and fluffy now. Yes, your tongue on me feels amazing,” a smile crept across his lips, and I grinned too, “And I love kissing you. But if you stop biting me or bruising me—fuck, Grant, if you stop hurting me, I will make you remember that I need pain.”
His grin was unmistakable now, spreading across his face. I remembered a smile like that. Months ago when we were still back in that clinic, when Heather had first announced that she planned to live with Zaid, I had threatened Zaid, saying that if he made my sister cry, I would make him pay. At the time, Grant had laughed and said I was all talk. I had the feeling that’s what he was thinking right now. That I was as soft and as gooey as he was on the inside. We both had hard exteriors and strange desires, but finding each other had helped us become more complete people.
“What?” I asked. I felt like I was on the verge of an unbearable fit of laughter, the kind you can’t stop because you’re exhausted. “Am I still a pain in the ass?”
“You’re a pain,” he said.
***
By the time we got back to the apartment, it was late. He pulled into the parking garage and an attendant waved at us. I had always wondered if they thought we were dating, since we were always together. Now it didn’t matter if we looked like a couple. Because we were.
Zaid and Heather had left for the Afterglow. Earlier, they had mentioned that they were trying to meet Nate and Mara there.
“You don’t want to go to the Afterglow?” I asked. I knew he owned the place now, but I didn’t know if he ran it too or let someone else take the reins.
He turned off the engine, removing the keys from the ignition. “I have other things planned.”
Vague as those words were, I knew Grant well enough now that if he said anything at all, it was something big. Part of me hoped that it meant something between us, and not another nature documentary to watch.
But I would be okay with that too. Curled up beside him with a bowl full of sour candies, I could watch a show about undiscovered life in the oceans…until I found a good way to distract him.
But that left an important decision to make.
“What are we going to do with the extra bedroom?” I asked as we made our way to the elevator. “Should we move the gym equipment into one of the other rooms? So we can take over the master?”
He pressed the button for our floor. “What do you think?”
I laughed then, because Grant didn’t care. By the looks of his bedroom, it didn’t matter if we lived in an apartment with a name like Lavish Leisure Living, or if we lived in a one-bedroom apartment off of Boulder Highway. As long as we were together, he didn’t have any other preferences. It was weird to be with someone who didn’t want to control me. He had tried to once before.
But now? I was in control of my life.
In the apartment, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I went to my bedroom like usual. I put away some things that had been tossed on the floor, but I didn’t want to go to bed yet. Not without him.
Grant came into the bedroom wordlessly, lifting his shirt off of his back, revealing those stupidly ridiculous muscles, and as ridiculous as it was, I loved it all, because it was him, all him. He tilted my chin up towards him, and those brown eyes were heavy with desire, making my breath catch in my throat. Like I was the only woman he had ever had eyes for. He pushed me onto the bed, climbing on top of me, and he grabbed my wrists and held them high up over my head, making me feel helpless and small beneath him. He studied me for a moment, looking at my face, and I turned away. I had forgotten how bruised I was. The guilt lashed through me.
He pulled my chin to face him again, making me lock eyes with him. Held me in that gaze. And I forgot about those worries.
“I love you, Hazel,” he said.
“I love you,” I whispered. Then he pulled one of my arms down and bit my neck, harder and harder, until the pain tingled in my core and made me numb. He let out a low growl and I shivered.
“I’m going easy on you,” he said in a tender voice. “Until you heal.” And I agreed that that would be the best, but I was too caught up to admit it. His tongue delved into my mouth and his cock throbbed against me. He pressed himself into me, digging deeper, and I moaned. He kissed my neck again, then bit into it, making me feel like prey. Helpless.
When it came to Grant, all of my defenses were down.
I wanted to give everything to him. Including the real me.
