“They don’t want to be associated with me,” I said.
“I can donate a large sum in your name,” he said.
I knew he meant it to be kind, but it made me furious. He had money that he could throw away on entertainment, on donations, on me. That I needed his help. That he thought so highly of himself that he offered me his assistance.
“No,” I said. “Don’t ever offer that again.”
“Why?”
“I can deal with it on my own. Like I always have.” I stared down at him. “I can do it by myself.”
He motioned towards the rest of the club. “Does dancing clear your mind?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure.” If I danced hard and fast enough.
“Then let’s go.”
I expected him to go to the main stage, but he went towards the Terrariums.
“I raised my fees,” I said. He didn’t turn back to face me. “And updated the charges to our recent visits.”
“I know.”
It made me sick to be around people like him. People who didn’t care about the servers, the working class, the kind of people who had enough money that they could bathe in hundred dollar bills if they wanted. I bumped my fees by thousands of dollars, and it didn’t faze him. Because it didn’t mean anything to him. Not like it meant something to me.
He selected the dancing room again. While the pole was always permanent, the rigging apparatus could change. Without speaking a word, I put up the silks. The ceiling wasn’t as tall as was needed for multiple drops, but for what the guests wanted, it worked. There was enough room to do some sensual moves.
While I had my preference for the hoop, I liked switching apparatuses at times like this. When I was full of anger and couldn’t let myself go. I was good at the hoop, but that meant that I could danceandthink. My brain rattled away at the anger, at the what-ifs, at anything that pissed me off even more. And though silks were considered aerial dance like the hoop, silks required a different sort of movement: hooking your feet into the fabrics to create a hold, a bond that you had to create for yourself. For me, it required enough concentration that I had no choice but to forget. To focus on the activity. I was good enough at silks to be passable in front of an unknowing crowd, but I always ended up with rope burns and new bruises from making the switch.
I was about to climb the fabrics when he stopped me.
“The next time you go to the academy,” he said, “be discreet. Stay indoors. Don’t let anyone see you. Work on a better disguise.”
I couldn’t hide the incredulity from my voice, “A disguise?”
“Take a rideshare instead of using your car.” He nodded for me to begin, but I waited for him to explain. “If you want to keep it private, don’t give anyone a reason to question why you’re there. You never know who might be watching.”
I turned back to the fabrics. “Just you,” I muttered.
“The white van wasn’t me.”
I froze for a moment. The man dressed in black sitting on that white van. Once Lucas had confronted me at the school, I had assumed it was him, or someone associated with him.
“Who was it?” I asked.
“Maybe Aldrich already knew.”
Now he was trying to save his own ass.
“Do you have it out for Aldrich or something?” I asked.
He stared at me. Neither of us moved.
“Go on,” he said.
I climbed the ropes, wrapping the fabric over my legs, trying to make it look effortless when it took so much strength and different muscles than I was used to. For some odd reason, I believed Lucas. I had a feeling that if he had told the academy about my job, he would own up to it. The rage was fizzling inside of me. At the right height, I pulled the fabric around my body and leg, so that when I threw my weight forward, it caught me in the drop. Upside down, arching my back. Trying to be the image of grace and strength.
“On your feet,” he said. He was standing close to me now. I made my way down carefully, taking my time. If he had something in mind, he should have told me.
