I clenched my jaw. I wanted to smack him. The only reason I stayed with Aaron for as long as I had, was that I kept myself numb. John medicated me with pills, but with Aaron, I had stayed drunk by choice. My throat itched for one of those beers. They helped me tolerate him.
But I wasn’t going to lower myself to his level anymore.
He headed back to the computer, putting on his headset. He spent more time gaming and jacking off than he did anything else. His grandpa had left him the home, which meant that his only bills were utilities and food, most of whichIhad taken care of when we were together. Because he promised me forever, and I believed him.
The back of his head was greasy, like you could drag a trail through the oil. I bit my lip, those frustrations swelling inside of me. But he was good for one reason: he was too stupid to be scared, and that meant that if I gave him a big enough reward, he would go after Desmond for me. I had tricked my husband, but Desmond was too smart to let his guard down around me now. But with a non-threat like Aaron? Stick and bones and a big head? Desmond would never consider him a threat.
“How much?” I asked.
Aaron tilted his head, but his eyes stayed locked on the computer screen. “For what?”
“To get rid of someone.”
He swiveled in the chair, facing me. “You know how much people pay hitmen?”
I didn’t care. I had John’s money. I could figure out how to transfer all of it to him if I needed to. “Give me your price.”
He stood, looking down at me. I stepped back. “For you, Milly?” he asked. I sucked in a breath, trying to stay strong, to not back away. “Ass to mouth. After that, I won’t even charge you.”
I narrowed my eyes. He was a piece of trash. He knew the one thing that would get to me.
“Money,” I said. “What do you need? A hundred thousand? More?” I motioned around. “Could buy you a nicer setup than this place.”
He waved his hand. “You don’t have that kind of money. I told you, Milly. Let me fuck your ass, then your mouth. That’s what I want.” He downed the rest of his beer, then grabbed his cock in his pants. “That’s why you came around here, huh? You missed my bad boy dick.”
I needed to get out of here.
“Screw you,” I muttered, gagging to myself. I lowered my eyes and headed toward the door.
He laughed, then plopped down on the swivel chair. It creaked underneath him. “When the police come asking about you, I’ll be sure to tell them about this conversation, Mill-Bills.”
Once I got in my car and started the engine, my heartbeat raced, a headache throbbing in my temple.No.This was stupid. It had been two years since I had seen Aaron, and he had claimed that he had loved me once. And this was how he treated me when I needed his help?
I went back, opening the screen door myself.
“Aaron,” I said, waiting to make sure that he could hear me. He took the headset off. His eyes were hopeful like I might actually give in to his proposal. Or worse, beg for him to take me back. “You couldn’t get it hard if you tried.”
He threw down his controller, his eyes bulging from his head. “You little—”
I ran to my car, then peeled out of the driveway as fast as I could. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, making everything heavy. Once I saw Oakmont disappear in the rearview mirror, I let out a deep breath. I had the worst luck when it came to men, believing in forever when people always changed for the worst. Now, I knew that there was no such thing as forever. But with everything in my soul, I wanted something real. Had hoped that even with an arranged marriage, John and I could learn to love each other. Could teach ourselves to be devoted.
But people used you, especially men. Desmond was the same. He was using me for his sacrifice. But at least this time, he was a man being honest.
The light swarmed through the trees, and my mind wandered over to that tree-lined private road, leading up to the Marked Blooms Syndicate. Desmond had already told the man from the Marked Blooms Syndicate about John, which meant that Desmond had kept to his word. He had protected me. For a price.
At least I could trust him on that front. But that didn’t mean I was free.
Inside of the Dalton House, I walked to the master bedroom, dragging myself to the full-length mirror John had used every morning. It had been a long time since I hadwantedto look at myself in the mirror, but this time, I did. I tried to see what Desmond saw in me.
Desmond had looked at me like he actually wanted me. For once, I wasn’t disgusted with myself.
Maybe Desmond wanted to trample on me to get to the top, wherever that was. And yet imagining the pressure of his shoe on my breasts as he made me spread myself, his eyes glued to me, palming his cock like he was going to enjoy every minute of me, made me fill with heat. Watching my reflection, I dragged my fingertips over my soft hips, my skin sprinkled with dark beauty marks. My ass was still faintly red and sore. I imagined myself like he saw me. My hair tangled. My makeup destroyed. Covered in his come.
And he still wanted me.
I was just staring in the mirror, daydreaming. But when I looked down at myself, I was rubbing my clit.
In my mind, Desmond was still staring at me.
