I follow Lily’s car at a distance. Eventually, we arrive at a community in Henderson. She pulls into the driveway of a two-story home with rock landscaping and cacti decorating the front yard. I park a few houses down, then turn off the engine and watch the window above the garage, where her room is.
I sit there for another ten minutes, gritting my teeth and fuming over my obsession. Niko is right. Ishouldkill Lily. She’s nothing more than a woman I’m infatuated with, because with a simple look, she both calms me down and unsettles me.
We have this connection written into the fabric of our souls. I don’t know what it is.
The final light illuminating her bedroom window goes out. I click my thumbs over the top of the steering wheel in anticipation, then I slink over to her property. Though I’ve watched her for a long time now, I’ve never been this close to her house. I’ve always known that it was best for both of us if I kept my distance.
I’ve seen her housemate use a spare key before. I check under the mat and above the door frame. I find nothing.
Eventually, I spot a decorative cactus that’s so realistic, I almost miss it. A key is hidden inside. I’m glad they’re smart enough for that.
Inside the entryway, I’m silent, like I’ve trained myself to be for decades now. Moonlight floods through the glass doors, and in the backyard, a blooming cacti garden stretches in the night, full of red and yellow flowers.
It’s fitting, isn’t it? A cactus blooms like a lily. You can’t touch it without experiencing pain. Just like you can’t consume the lily of the valley without suffering.
On the refrigerator, a single picture decorates the door. Lily and her housemate.Besties!is scribbled in black marker across the bottom. Her housemate isn’t due home for hours. Still, she may not stick to her schedule. If I have to, I’ll kill her too.
I ascend the stairs. In the master bedroom, the door is cracked open. I push it cautiously. I don’t want to disturb Lily. She works hard at the club. She needs rest.
A jolt of clarity knocks through me. This isn’t about letting Lily rest. This isit.
Either I talk to the woman, or I kill her.
Talking to her means bringing her closer to the yakuza. It means putting her in danger. It means letting her get closer to me. And I don’t want that.
Damn it. I need to kill her and get her out of my system.
I crack my neck, then grab the switchblade out of my pocket.
When the door opens up, giving me a full view of her sleeping in the bed, my breath catches in my throat. Lily lies on top of the comforter, sprawled out like a bird stretching its wings. Naked. Helpless. Her hands are tucked underneath her pillow, and a scar marks her hip. One night, Lily’s parents kicked her out for the final time. She got drunk at the Gilded Stage and ran into a table. Her bestie—now her housemate—had to take her home. That’s the way the story goes on social media.
I reflexively touch my side, skimming my fingers over the fresh tattoo. It’s why I started my lily tattoo for her there. She has a scar; I have ink. Another part of my body that connects me to her.
I’ll make it quick. This obsession with her will be over.
Then her cotton candy scent sneaks into my nostrils. I inhale deeply, letting the perfume bring me back to a time when everything was all right. I’m back in the past before my mother locked me away. Back when we would go to the fairgrounds together.
You’re such a good kid,my mother had said, pushing the black hair out of my eyes. She handed me the spool of cotton candy, then winked.Here,she said.A sweet boy like you needs to finish something as sugary as this.
But it’s your favorite,I had argued.Maybe I can get my own? You don’t have to give me yours.
Sadness flickered in her eyes and quickly vanished. She ruffled my hair.
You’re my favorite, Daisuke,she said.
But that was a lie; I was never her favorite. If I was, she wouldn’t have locked me in the box.
Lily moans in her sleep, and my bulge twitches with arousal, dragging me out of those memories. My length strains against my pants, reaching for Lily’s naked body.
I’m getting hardnow?When I’m about to kill her?
Why does my body always react to her like this?
Her eyes are closed, protecting me from her gaze. Like this, Lily can’t see me. I can’t hurt her, and she can’t hurt me either. I could kill herandfuck her right now, and by the time she woke up, she wouldn’t be able to stop me from filling her with my come.
I clutch that knife as if it’s keeping me grounded. It’s not. With my other hand, I unzip my pants. Lily whimpers out a snore, and I fuck my fist, turned on by her helplessness. She’s a bird in a cage right now, and I’m prying open the metal bars, ready to cling to her feathers as she struggles to fly away.
Lily’s eyes flicker, tempting fate, and I come mercilessly and quickly, squirting across her abdomen like a cannon. She groans a beastly noise, then flips onto her stomach.
