As was occurring so often of late, he could not help but notice how beautiful Florentia was. Even in the dark of the carriage—for there was no light save for the moon shining through the window—her beauty was undeniable. Not aggressive and obvious. It was a soft, natural beauty, graceful and enchanting in ways that made his chest tighten the longer he found himself looking.
These changes he felt went beyond mere attraction. Why, it was not as if she was the first woman Hudson had ever been attracted to. He was a man, after all, and sexual amour was a perfectly natural thing. Not something he pursued, but an unavoidable consequence of life.
No...the changes were more personal in nature. First, it had been a friendship that developed through sheer force and determination. Then, it became a companionship built upon getting to know one another in ways he rarely let anyone else know him.
Now, he found that he trusted Florentia. More than that, he respected her. Having opened up to her earlier tonight about his past, and having been met with the kindness and understanding she had shown him, was the final puzzle piece slipping intoplace, revealing a picture that had always been there. He had just been too ignorant to see it.
I am falling for my wife in ways I never thought possible. Ways that had always seemed beyond me. A marriage of convenience, at first sounding exactly like what I desired, now feels far too cold and removed from what I know we have become.
It was a revelation that he had not seen coming. What he planned to do about this revelation...If only I knew.
They rode for most of the way home in silence. Not an awkward one. Not even a tense one. It was comfortable and natural feeling, both seemingly pleased with how the night had gone, neither feeling the need to break the silence.
Throughout the ride, Hudson tried his best not to stare at his wife. It should have been easy to do, but it challenged him in ways he could not comprehend. More peculiarly, when he did look at her, often, he found that she was doing the same; quick glances, a smirk on her lips, a look in her eyes that made his stomach flutter.
It was when the carriage arrived and they climbed down—he helped her down by the hand—and they made their way inside that things became that much more confusing.
“Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” Florentia asked as they entered through the foyer. It was dark, a lone candle glimmering by thestaircase and the moon through the window the only sources of light given.
“I cannot imagine that you won’t be,” he said.
She scoffed. “I did not mean literally. I meant...” She chuckled. “Will we be spending time together? What do you have planned?”
“Oh.” He came to a stop and turned to look at her. “I...I am busy in the morning.”
“As you often are.”
“The early afternoon...”
He thought quickly, trying to remember what he had planned. The truth was, he was meant to be working all day, as he had a lot to do and had become distracted of late. But he also found that he did not want to work. What he wished for was to spend more time with Florentia. “I will be free after noon.”
“As will I.”
“Shall we...” He felt nervous for some reason. “Shall we do something together?”
“That was the implication,” she laughed. “What shall we do?”
She stood before him, only a few feet away. Cloaked in darkness, her eyes sparkled through it in a way that suggested she could see him. And not physically, but through him. That she could read his mind like no-one ever had.
“I...” He cleared his throat. “I am not sure. A walk?”
“A ride,” she said. “Let us go for a ride. It has been a while.”
“A ride then,” he said with a smile that was real. “I am looking forward to it.”
“As am I.”
They stood facing one another, saying nothing as their plans for tomorrow settled between them. Ordinarily, it would be no big thing now for Hudson so say goodnight and retire to his room. That was expected and he knew that she would be thinking the same.
But his eyes flicked down her body, up again, and then landed on her lips. She puckered them...or perhaps he was imagining it? Standing so close, the silence growing, he could hear her breathing—or was that the sound of his heart thudding inside his chest?
What is happening to me? This is...this is not who I am. This is not right! Get control of yourself, Hudson!
This marriage was only ever meant to be convenient. It had a purpose, one which had proven fruitful. What had grown between him and Florentia was nothing more than a happy accident, because it was better to be able to stand being around his wife than wishing to avoid her.
Was that how she felt too? Now, Hudson could not help but wonder. Surely, she saw in him only a man whom she no longer hated, because how could she ever feel anything more than apathy for someone like him? He was cold. He was distant. He wasn’t funny or kind or gentle. He was not the type of man women fell in love with. And he was glad about it!
His mind drifted to their first evening together, when she had told him what she wished for. A child, she had said.Is that what this is? She is getting close to me so that she might ask me again about having a child together?It sounded ridiculous, but he hoped it was right. At least then he would know that she cared nothing for him, so he might convince himself to believe the same.
