“You have spoken so often of your childhood, but you rarely speak about the future.”
“That is because it has not happened yet,” she joked in an effort to distract him.
He did not laugh. “And this marriage, specifically. I know it is not what you wished for, and I wonder...” He clicked his tongue. “I wonder if there is any resentment held toward me? This past month has been enjoyable, Florentia, and I would hate to think that you were harboring a secret hatred for me, one that might one day burst when I least expect it.”
“I hope you know by now that this is not the case,” she said assuredly.
He looked at her, “I do not know that. I wish I did but… you know how I am when it comes to reading people.”
“I...” She hesitated, doing her best to soften the touchy subject. “You know my feelings about having children, and I am not going to lie to you and tell you that they have passed me completely. But I also understand your own, and I know that it is not a decision to be made lightly or based on a whim.”
“So, you still wish for children?”
“What I wish for is happiness,” she assured him. “After our first fight, my biggest concern was that I would spend the rest of my life alone and miserable. Yes, I thought having children would change that—and that was an idea I refused to see past. Only now...” She smiled. “I guess I am beginning to realize there is more to life than having children. And certainly, there are other ways to find happiness.”
“So, you do not wish for children?”
She rolled her eyes. “I wish to be happy. And right now, well...I do not know about you, but I am pretty darn happy.”
“As am I,” he said simply, looking ahead again. His brow was still scrunched, his expression severe. Was that the answer he wished for? Or was he hoping she might stand her ground?
Florentia bit into her lip as she considered what they had just spoken about. There was a truth in there, she knew—the notion that happiness above all was what she wanted most. And indeed, these past few weeks had been her happiest in memory. Still, that did not mean she had given up on the notion of children entirely. That was a dream of hers that would never die, regardless of how happy she might be.
But what did that matter? She doubted Hudson would change his mind. And to ask him again might ruin what they had. They were as close as ever. She felt safe and comfortable with him like she had never known.
She wanted children…more than that, she wanted them with Hudson. And not because he was her husband and that was right. Rather, that was what one did with the man who one cared for. And despite herself, as she watched him ride ahead, Florentia knew now that she was starting to care for this man like she had never thought possible.
They rode in silence the rest of the way home.
Once they reached the estate, they made for the stable, which sat open and empty of workers. Hudson led the way inside, jumpeddown from his horse immediately, and was quick to throw the reins over the stall’s door just as Florentia was coming to a stop behind him.
“Allow me...” Hudson walked to her, his obvious intent to help her down.
She almost rolled her eyes at the gesture, as if to mock him for being so chivalrous. But she stayed that notion, feeling a sudden warmth spread through her as she considered what he was doing. It was not to impress her. It was not to prove himself manly or strong. Rather, he was doing it because he wanted to help, because it was right, and because he cared for her.
She smiled warmly and allowed him to help her down. Her hands rested on his shoulders, his firm hands held her waist—which had her catching her breath. He gripped her tightly and lifted her in the air, taking a step back and?—
“Ow!” he cried out as he lost his footing.
“Argh!” she exclaimed as she tumbled forward.
Hudson groaned as he landed in a pile of hay stacked behind them.
“Hudson!” she cackled loudly, unable to keep herself from laughing as she fell into him, his body and the hay softening the fall.
His hands were still around her. His legs too—she fell between them, and they closed as if on instinct. Florentia pushed herself back, but did not scramble to climb from her husband. Rather, she stayed where she was, one hand on his chest, the other on his waist, bodies entwined as one in a way that felt a little too natural. That feltright.
“I...” Hudson began, his breathing up, licking his lips as his eyes looked all about and then met Florentia’s. Held them. “I lost my footing...”
“I noticed,” she breathed, holding his stare as she felt his heart racing beneath her palm. As she felt his body tremble. “Thank you for breaking my fall.”
“Anything for you,” he said, his voice low, still staring right at her. “Are you...you are not hurt?”
“No. Are you?”
“Just my ego.”
She chuckled softly, still not making a move, still holding his eyes, still feeling the racing of his heart. Her eyes flicked to his lips quickly, then back to his eyes. She looked deeply into them, refusing to blink or look away.
