For the next two days, I remained curled up in bed, buried beneath my blankets with the blinds and curtains tightly drawn to block out any flicker of light. I was spiraling into a mental breakdown, teetering on the edge of a psychotic break from neglecting my medication since that night with Michael in the woods behind the church.
I had relinquished control to the shadows in my mind, surrendering fully to the darkness that engulfed me without a moment's hesitation. While my memories were hazy, one detail stood out: the sharp sting of an axe wound on my side. I couldn’t recall the entirety of my night with Michael, nor could I remember anything that had transpired since though.
Finally, I pushed myself up and stretched my aching muscles, feeling as if I had been trampled repeatedly. My mouth was parched beyond belief—dry as a bone—and as I reached for the open water bottle on my nightstand, a memory of Hunter and the bone sent a shiver down my spine. But as I glanced down at my hands, a deeper fear began to coil within me.
My hands were stained red, marked with bruised knuckles, glistening in the filtered light streaming through the cracks in the windows as the wind nudged the curtains aside. Panic washed over me, and with trembling fingers, I brushed my face, my heart sinking as I discovered a familiar dried substance coating my cheeks—the same as that on my hands.
What the hell?
In a frenzy, I jumped out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, flicking on the light despite the burning brightness of the LEDs. What I saw confirmed my worst fears: I was covered in blood. But the most terrifying revelation of all? I had no idea whose it was.
I stepped into the shower and let the scalding water cascade over me, closing my eyes as the blood flowed away, swirling down the drain until the water ran clear. I felt like a zombie, yet deep inside, I was shaking in fear of the unanswered questions swirling in my mind. For the first time since being with the guys, I felt utterly unhinged.
Just then, my ears picked up the faint squeak and thud of the church’s door and the heavy footsteps echoing down the hall, even above the roar of the water. Strangely, I wasn't afraid. It had to be one of the four, and however it turned out, I knew I would be okay with whoever walked through that door.
The bathroom door creaked open. Then the shower door swung wide, revealing Kellin, a worried expression etched on his face, dressed head to toe in black and of course wearing his cargo pants. All I wanted was to pull him into the shower, clothesand all. We locked eyes for a few moments, silence stretching between us, and I prayed fervently that all the blood had been washed away before he stepped in.
"Jesus," Kellin grunted, clearly flustered.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, applying shampoo to my hair and lathering it in while his gaze roamed over my wet, naked body and ignited a fire within me.
"I forgot," he admitted, still entranced as his eyes traced the contours of my form before meeting my gaze. "I forgot what I was going to say. But I do know that I’m going to join you."
Without hesitation, he discarded his clothes, laying his gun atop the toilet seat, keeping it within reach. His eyes remained fixed on me as he disrobed, stepping into the shower with a dark intensity that tugged at the chains around my heart.
In an instant, he pulled me against him, our bodies colliding beneath the cascade of water, the heat turning our skin a rosy hue. His hand found its way around my throat, drawing my mouth to his, a smirk playing against my lips as he kissed me with his eyes wide open.
"Fuck, I want you," he panted, his large hand tracing its way down the front of my body, pausing at the apex of my thighs.
I gasped at the sensation, electricity coursing through me at his touch as the tension from the past few days began to unravel. The heat from the water wrapped around us, mingling with the heat radiating from our bodies.
"Kell," I breathed, uncertainty swirling in the pit of my stomach as a jumble of images blurred in my mind—Michael, blood, chaos. I didn't know what I wanted: comfort, escape, or something entirely different.
His eyes darkened as he leaned closer, his breath warm against my ear. "Forget everything else for a minute. Just be with me."
My heart raced, caught between fear and desire. I had been swept away in my own turmoil for too long; maybe just for now, I could let the chaos go. I closed my eyes and nodded, surrendering to the moment. With a swift motion, he shifted his grip from my throat to my waist, pressing me against him as our mouths crashed together once more. The kiss was desperate, frantic, as if we were both clinging to something more than just each other. The world outside faded away, leaving only the sound of running water and the frantic rhythm of our moans.
As his thick, tattooed fingers found their way between my legs, a wave of sensation washed over me, calming the storm inside. I leaned into him, needing more, wanting to drown out all the memories and doubts that haunted me. I wanted to forget the blood, the fear, the unknown—everything that had nearly consumed me. But my mind was relentless, teasing and taunting, and just as I began to lose myself entirely, the memories rushed forward again like a tidal wave.
I pulled back, panic flooding my veins. "Kellin, I don’t remember. I can’t—"
His expression softened, and he cupped my face with his hands, forcing me to hold his gaze, grounding me. “We’ll figure it out. Together. Just focus on me, okay?”
His calmness pierced through the haze of fear, and I nodded again, even if only half-heartedly, searching for reassurance in his eyes. The shadows, while still lurking, receded slightly at the warmth of his presence. As his hands resumed their exploration, I closed my eyes once more, leaning into his touch—allowing myself to forget for just a little while.
Time slipped away in a blur, the steam of the shower enveloping us as we lost ourselves in each other. The world outside could wait; right now, it was just him and me. But deep down, a voice whispered that this wasn’t over. Nothing ever truly went away, and eventually, I would have to face thedarkness crouching in the corners of my mind. For now, though, I let Kellin's warmth consume me, hoping desperately that when the clouds finally parted, I wouldn’t be standing alone in the aftermath.
But I didn't want to think about anything other than Kell and how I was feeling. He slammed my back against the shower wall, and I gasped from the sting from the cold tile. His hand wrapped around my throat again. His other slipped between my thighs and his fingers slid inside me. His eyes, dark and devilish, pierced into mine as he continued to kiss me, refusing to close them.
I parted my legs to let him in more, and his fingers thrusted deeper, parting within me. My body shook from the pleasure, and the muscles in my body began to feel tight. I knew I was about to come, and Kell did too.
"You're going to come all over my cock, not my fingers tonight, Scarlett. Turn around so I can bury myself inside of you," he growled against my lips, adding a third finger.
A shiver ran through me at his words, caught somewhere between anticipation and a flicker of uncertainty. The intensity in his voice cut through the fog that lingered in my mind, reminding me of the gravity of the world outside this steamy cocoon we had created.
I hesitated, still reeling from the weight of my memories—the unknown—but his firm grip around my throat and the insistent pull of his fingers coaxed me to obey. Maybe this was my chance to reclaim a sense of control, something to drown out the fear that threatened to suffocate me.
With a soft, shaky breath, I turned around, feeling the slick tiles press coolly against my palms as I bent forward slightly. The water cascaded down my body, masking the shudder of anticipation that coursed through me. Behind me, I felt himshift, his body a strong presence that ignited a spark of excitement deep within.
