“I did not say that, either.”
Jesus fucking Christ. I was going to have a stroke at this rate, trying to work out this man’s riddles.
“Then what the hell do you want, Thaleo?” I snapped. Then I sucked in a sharp breath, realizing I’d forgotten the honorific of his title, Gahn. He seemed to bend incrementally towards me. He overwhelmed me, became the only thing I saw. My heartrate increased rapidly, becoming more buzz than beat.
“Nazreen.” He said my name like it was a crushing stone he didn’t know how to move off of his chest. “I try very hard not to want anything at all.”
Silence thickened, seeming to conduct electricity between us. Some odd, unnameable charge that might have been anything from distrust to desire. Maybe both. I couldn’t tell. Couldn’t even think about that right now. All I could think about were the dozens of questions I had for this scarred wall of a man.
How old were you when you got that scar? How did it happen and why didn’t they heal you? What is it that you try not to want? How does a man try not to want in the first place? Does it even work?
Maybe it didn’t work. Because – and it was so fuckingsubtlein the lamplight – I swore I saw his sight stars give a tiny tremor, tightening inwards before dropping to my lips.
And that sent alarm bells ringing in my head.
“I made some new clothes today,” I said, grasping at anything to change the subject. To create some distance between us. Tamp down this simmering strangeness that had my breath catching in my throat, my treacherous nipples growing hard.
“Clothes,” he echoed thickly, thoughtlessly. Like his brain was just as scattered as mine. Which simply could not be true. This was Gahn Thaleo we were talking about.
And yet, there was no denying the way he suddenly roused himself, like someone pulling his body back from the warm and tempting edge of sleep. His sight stars pinged up to my eyes. Then, they were gone as he faced forward in the hall once more. Not knowing what else to do, I started walking, and just like before when we’d stopped, he took a step at the precise moment I did. It unnerved me to be so in sync with him.
“Clothes,” he said again, sounding much more like the usual, cool-toned Thaleo I was used to. “Good. I would not have you unsuitably dressed during your time here.”
“Yeah,” I said, relieved to have some neutral topic of conversation to prattle on about. This surprised me, because I’d never been a prattler in my entire fucking life. But there I was, rambling away about Wanda and Vanda and wool and fur and silk.
“The girls seemed awfully disappointed not to be able to see the spinners yet,” I told him. “But I understand that they might be a bit too excitable for that right now.”
“And what about you?”
“Er…” Was Iexcitable?What a weird question. But apparently, I was. My nipples still tingled at Gahn Thaleo’s proximity. He seemed very careful that no matter how narrow a stretch of the hall got, no matter how close he walked to me, he didn’t touch me. His big arm didn’t even brush the sleeve of my jacket, which in some of the tighter turns seemed like it should have been physically impossible.
“I don’t know?” I finally croaked.
“If you decide you do, I will take you to see them.”
Of course. That’s what he’d meant. He’d been asking if I’d wanted to see the spinners. Not if I was excitable. Dear fucking God.
“I would like that,” I said, speaking solely about the chance to see the spinners and realizing too late I’d agreed to let him escort me there. “But you don’t have to go with me. I’m sure someone else would be happy to show me,” I said hastily.
“I am aware.” A pause, then, “I will take you to see them. But I cannot do it now. Events today have made other things necessary first.”
“Zaria told us about the borog thing. Is that what you mean?”
“It is not something you need to concern yourself with,” he said. “But yes, that is what I mean. I’d only just returned with Warrek from its burrow when I came across you in the hall. I must meet with my other warriors now, and inform the rest of the tribe about what has occurred.”
“What about Valeria and Grim?” I asked. “Are they going to be in any danger when they come back?”
“No. The borog is a burrowing creature. It cannot jump and does not climb well or quickly. If they were to encounter it, they could outfly it in the shuttle easily. But I do not anticipate they will encounter it if they fly straight to this mountain, as I expect they will upon their return. The evidence of the burrow was farfrom here, closer to the Vrika’s peak in the neutral territory. When Valeria returns, I will inform her of what we have found and let her know that the area is off-limits for the time being.”
“For the time being. Then what? We just wait for it to move on? Or…”
“Wait until it forces us to kill it,” he said grimly.
That was how his uncle died.
I was just working up the nerve to ask him about Gahn Seerak when he stopped. Voices drifted over to us – Tilly’s and Oxriel’s, then a younger voice, either Vanda or Wanda. We’d reached the last stretch of hallway that led to the sunny cave with the sewing supplies.
Though before I’d wanted nothing more than to end another strange interaction with this even stranger Gahn, I found myself asking him if he wanted to join us to eat.
