There was no denying Gahn Thaleo was an extremely attractive male. But up until now, I’d mostly been able to deny the fact thatIwas attracted to him. I’d successfully escaped most of those feelings by focusing on the parts of him that I hated.
But I couldn’t access that hate anymore. All that was left was an oddly painful tenderness where my distaste for him had once lived. Like pressing on a bruise.
Feeling strange in my own skin, I fell into a fitful sleep. When I woke, my eyes were dry, my body heavy with a poor night’s rest. But I dragged my butt out of bed and got dressed, hearing voices in the cave beyond.
Somewhat surprisingly, Fiona was up with Tilly. Valeria and Grim were there, to.
“Oh, hey guys,” I said, surprised and happy to see them. A quick sweep of my gaze through this cave told me Dalk wasn’t with them. “When did you get in?”
Oh, God. Please let it not have been when I was finger-fucking myself last night…
“Not long ago, actually. We’re probably going to get some shut-eye in a bit. But we wanted to stop in and say hi. Give an update.” Her eyes settled on Fiona. “Dalk’s Uncle Taraken has passed on. As far as I know, Dalk plans to journey back here on his own once everything is settled there.”
Fiona nodded, her face pale beneath the blunt line of her short fringe. Her eyes were large and sombre. “Thank you for letting me know,” she said.
Valeria gave a business-like nod. “Anything we need to be apprised of since we’ve been gone?”
Well, I made out with the last man on this planet I ever expected to and then made myself come to thoughts of him alone in my bed. Does that count?
Obviously, I didn’t say any of that out loud. But I couldn’t help but wonder if my friends could somehow sense it on me. Strangely, I didn’t regret last night. But it did feel like it had been some kind of forbidden transgression. Gahn Thaleo was the one who’d been going on and on about following the Vrika’s orders and not straying from tradition’s path. And then he’d dry humped me with a laser-like intentionality that made me want to melt into a puddle of goo even now.
Tilly told Valeria about making our new clothing, going to see the brolka, and, of course, the announcement about the borog. Valeria’s brows knitted together at this.
“OK. I don’t love the sound of that. Maybe we’ll put off our nap,” she said to her mate. “I’d like to go talk to Gahn Thaleo about this situation in person. And we should update Gahn Errok, too.”
“He probably isn’t here right now,” I said.
All eyes swivelled to me.
“How do you know?” Valeria asked.
“I just… I’ve noticed he’s been spending a lot of the morning and early afternoon away from the main mountain,” I babbled, feeling oddly caught-out. “He and Warrek and some of the others have been tracking the borog’s progress.”
“Huh. OK,” Valeria said. “Maybe we will rest for a while, then.”
“Did you notice Gahn Thaleo’s schedule?” Tilly whispered to Fiona, who shook her head.
Well, of course she hasn’t noticed, I wanted to scream. She’s been moping after Dalk!
It was an unfair thought, not to mention unkind. Why should any of us have been paying that close of attention to Gahn Thaleo’s comings and goings?
Why had I been?
After a little more chatting, Valeria and Grim headed into their cave to rest after their long shuttle ride back here from the Sea Sands. Fiona, Tilly, and I joined up with Zoren and Oxriel, heading into the hall to eat and meeting up with Zaria and the others. We spent the day together in the mountain. I tried not to look for Gahn Thaleo, but I did anyway, my eyes seeking him out no matter where we went or what we were doing. His absence left me irritable and on edge, which only got worse when we entered the hall for dinner and he wasn’t there, either.
I hardened myself against a sullen feeling of rejection but wasn’t entirely successful. Was I the only one effected by what had happened last night? Was he avoiding me now? How convenient for him, that he could literally just fly away on the back of his braxilk to avoid any awkwardness with me, meanwhile I was nearly going out of my mind wondering when I’d bump into him again tonight.
Again with the unfair and unkind thoughts. Maybe it was the crappy sleep, but I was being a real bitch inside my own head today. Good thing nobody else could hear all the damn whining.
I made a real effort to focus on my friends during dinner, never letting my eyes stray towards the end of the hall where Gahn Thaleo always sat. Fiona had been unsettled by Valeria’s news. I knew she was looking forward to his return, but she was sad for his loss, and worried about the dangerous journey he’d be undertaking on foot to get back to her.
“Try not to think about it too much,” I told her as she listlessly popped some food into her mouth. “Dalk is too stubborn to die out there.”
I’d been somewhat joking, but Oxriel joined in with an earnest, “Indeed! Fiona, I do not believe that any predator of the Sea Sands could bring Dalk down. He is one foul fiend of an opponent!”
This brought a small smile to Fiona’s face, and a little colour to her cheeks, and it did a lot to lighten my own mood in return. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. Tilly did the same on her other side, the three of us leaning into each other, a squishy triangle of friendship.
“It’s going to be OK,” I whispered. “I can feel it.”
