I felt my sight stars twitch with astonishment. Warrek had, just about as plainly as he could have, declared that he wanted Tilly for his mate. He’d hauled his hopes and desires up into his mouth like it was nothing at all. As easily as he might simply thank her for the food, he told her that he wanted her and wanted her badly. That he’d share his life with her, put cubs inside her, take care of her, and honour her.
And Tilly, for her part, was smiling about it as Warrek walked away.
My gaze went back to Nazreen, an involuntary snap of my sight stars, as if my body feared she’d disappeared.
What would it be like, to approach the reserved Nazreen the way Warrek had just done?
Not that I would ever do such a thing.
I do not want and I do not bleed.
But if that were true, then…
Why did I feel like there was a wound inside me? Like an arrow had been lodged somewhere deep in my chest for ages, the stone stuck fast, staunching even as it sliced.
It was as if Nazreen had found the arrow’s shaft, and without a word or even a glance from those green eyes, had seized on it…
Andpulled.
My breathing remained slow and rhythmic even as I sat tense with imaginary pain. Imaginary, because there was nothing wrong with my body.
Pain, because it hurt me anyway.
3
NASRIN
The vaklok lasted the entire day. Unfortunately, our Sea Sand friends didn’t do too well at first. The braxilk-riding race left Oxriel looking like he was going to vomit all over his own loincloth, and Dalk came away from that event missing most of his hair. Dalk’s assigned mount had apparently decided that Dalk’s long braid looked like a tasty little treat – an early bird gets the worm situation – and it used its lethal beak to snap the braid clean off before swallowing it.
The archery competition was likewise a disappointing affair, Zoren, Dalk, and Oxriel never having had a chance to shoot an arrow from a bow before now.
But things picked up in the afternoon, where all the competitors were on more even footing. I watched it all from Gahn Thaleo’s stonily silent side, wondering more than once why he’d bother to sit beside me if he seemed so damn tense and weird about it. Stillness enveloped the man like a dome, but I didn’t sense calmness in it. I sensed ceaseless violence, churning just below the surface. Something powerful kept carefully leashed. In the quiet between us, quiet where I could not even hear him breathe, the air seemed to thrum.
Frankly, it made things awkward to the point that I considered getting up and moving somewhere else. But then I wouldn’t be near the front where I had a good view. And I’d be abandoning Tilly and Fiona.
And…
I didn’t want him to be the reason I moved. It felt, in some strange way, like he’d somehow be winning if I did.
But eventually, he was the one to move. After rounds of hand-to-hand combat that Dalk emerged from – bloodied, victorious, and somehow missing a loincloth – Gahn Thaleo stalked down onto the stone to lift Dalk’s fist in victory. He declared that Dalk could choose a nurse from among the unmated females – basically, us human women – to apply healing Vrika’s blood to his wounds, which were numerous. Before he could do so, Fiona leaped out of her seat and shrilly announced that she volunteered.
Look, I had a lot of feelings about being here. About being on this planet, in these mountains, under Gahn Thaleo’s rule. There was a viscous mix of gratitude and resentment. I was alive, but I’d been dumped into a life I’d never asked for. I’d left my world behind, but I’d also made wonderful friends – women who were more like family to me now. And, I considered some of the Sea Sand males friends, too. Oxriel, who was a delightful golden retriever in alien form; Zoren, the quiet Death Plains male with the pale, penetrating sight stars; Dalk, who was gruff and grumpy and so clearly infatuated beyond belief with Fiona.
And her, apparently, with him, based on how she just about shot out of her spot on the bench. Despite all my complicated feelings about this whole situation, I still felt a near-giddy flutter of excitement for Fiona. I could wish that life had turned out differently – for me, maybe for all of us – and still appreciate these moments of happiness for others. Seeing Fiona and Dalk circle each other so warily, and with such obviously intenseyearning, was weirdly wholesome. It made me think of high school days, or maybe even primary school. Crushes and secrets and young hearts. It was almost pure.
Well, maybe notthatpure, considering that Fiona’s gaze had just about glued itself to Dalk’s bared genitals before he picked up his shredded loincloth and held it in front of himself.
“Here,” said Zaria, handing Fiona a jar of Vrika’s blood and a pile of clean squares of hides. She gestured a long, violet-coloured arm towards another narrow valley that led away from this area. “A clearing with a pool and waterfall exists there for the victor’s ceremonial bath. Then, you may administer the Vrika’s blood.”
I couldn’t imagine that Dalk would be interested in this ceremonial bath. Unlike the Deep Sky people and us humans, the Sea Sand guys hated water with the passion of a thousand burning Zaphrinax suns. Or the passion of a thousand bath-avoiding cats, which was probably about the same.
But Dalk followed Fiona without complaint. I watched them go, then realized Gahn Thaleo was doing the same thing. My eyes tracked the Gahn’s stern profile, the unyielding bulk of his body, my attention going to him nearly involuntarily. He was like one of the mountains he ruled over. Smaller than the peaks that towered around us, certainly. But just as implacable. Just as hard.
No. He’s not a mountain. He’s just a man.
I fought off a sudden prickle of gooseflesh along my arms. I had to remember that he was only a person, just like me. He wasn’t some ancient mountain or fallen god. He may have been an alien, but he was still a man with thoughts and, presumably, feelings, even if he kept them locked behind the impenetrable veil of his sight stars.
I wondered what those thoughts and feelings were as he watched Dalk and Fiona disappear together. Did he sense the growing connection between them?
