The doctor shot Bear a look and walked around the bed to where I stood. He put his hand on my shoulder. “There, there,” he said. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying.”
“Don’t cry, little one,” my father said, blinking up at me.
“I’m not crying,” I insisted again, but now Iwascrying. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Bear’s jaw grew tense, and he turned away from me. I was shocked at how easily Bear and the doctor lifted my father from his bed, my father who had always seemed so large to me. I lost my grip on my father’s hand as they lifted him, but in the moment we lost touch, Amir took my other hand in his. He held my hand as my father was carried out of the house and placed in the backseat of the doctor’s car, and he held my hand as the doctor drove my father away, and he held my hand as Bear got into his truck without another word to us, leaving behind only dust and the faint sounds of the chickens squabbling and, farther away, the surf breaking over and over against the rocks.
REI DID NOTcome for two days. We never knew if Bear had forgotten to call her or if his neglect was intentional. Either way, by then we really were old enough to fend for ourselves.We ate tomatoes and greens from the garden and we scrambled eggs with beans from the cans in the cupboard. We did our best to look after the animals and the garden. At night, I could not hold my tears any longer, and Amir sat beside me on my bed and patted my back. Pal whined and shivered and looked back and forth between us for an answer we could not give.
The second day was longer than the first, and still no one came. Amir and I did not venture far from each other. The view of the ocean from the back porch might have given us comfort, but for the first time I preferred the front porch with its view of the driveway. I wanted to see my father the moment he returned.
When a car finally came toward us down the long drive, my father wasn’t in it.
If we hadn’t known the shiny white car belonged to Rei, we might not have recognized her. She looked so much older than she had when we’d seen her earlier in the week. Her perfect posture was broken in a way that looked irreversible, her shoulders sagging so heavily they seemed to pull her spine. She did not have on her usual sun hat, and the sight of the thick gray streaks in her black hair made my eyes sting.
Amir and I stood from our chairs. We were so close to each other that our elbows touched. We did not speak.
Rei walked up the front steps and grasped us both in her embrace. I twisted my body so that I could look up at her. Her black eyes glistened in the shade of the porch, and then tears were running down her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, my darlings,” she said. “Bear just called me. Your father is gone. He died an hour ago. I did not even know...” Her lips kept moving, but a buzzing noise in my ears drowned her words. Amir’s hands found mine. Cradled in Rei’s arms, we clung to each other.
