Part Three
Chapter Eighteen
Amonth later, when Amir emerged from the shadows outside the home that Will and I shared, my world went still for a beat of time that was as fragile as a shell, as vast as an ocean. I thought of Rosalie telling me that there are moments in your life when you can feel everything change. I thought of my mother standing on the edge of a cliff, the land below her feet crumbling. I thought of my father taking in his first breath of salt air, feeling his chest swell with new life.
“Merrow,” Amir said. Everything about him was different, and yet the same. His voice hooked something deep inside of me, pulling me toward him. His arms were around me then, holding me tightly. It was Amir, solid and strong andreal. I buried my face in his neck. The city was silent. I felt the sensation of wings beating within my chest and remembered the red bird I had swallowed in my dream the night before.
“I thought I might never see you again,” I whispered.
Energy roiled from him, and this I recognized. He was always coiled tightly, his anger crouched and poised and quivering. Waiting. He was so much bigger than he’d been at sixteen. The arms hugging me were roped with muscle, the chest to which I pressed my cheek was broad. How different things might have been if Amir had had this strength when we were children. I looked up at him and touched my thumb to the scar over his eyebrow. His dark hair was clipped so short that I could see the smooth shape of his scalp. His eyes were both mournful and yearning; they roamed my face. I remembered this feeling—this feeling of being known, of being beloved.
“What happened?” I asked. Relief and anger and fear each threatened to choke my words before I could release them. “How could you have left—”
“Merrow?”
Amir’s eyes lifted away from mine, moving over my shoulder, and a veil dropped over his expression. I turned, letting him go. Will stood beside Emma near the open garage door. Music spilled out of the house. Our engagement party. In the moments that my arms had been around Amir, I had forgotten it.
“Will...” There was a high, breathless quality to my voice.
Will squinted. “Amir?”
“In the flesh,” said Amir.
Will and Emma moved to stand beside me.
“What a surprise. It’s nice to see you,” Will said. The two men shook hands.
After a moment, I said, “We’re having a party.”
Amir’s gaze moved over my face, my dress. “I see.”
I could not pull my eyes from him. “Emma,” I said, without looking at her. “Do you remember Amir? You were very youngwhen you met.” I spoke in a daze. There was so much I wanted to ask Amir, and I couldn’t bear that we’d been interrupted. I stared at him, unabashed. If he turned and walked away right then, I wanted to have him memorized, this new Amir. He did not take his eyes from mine, either. The smallest hint of a smile tugged at his lips.
“I remember. I’m notthatyoung!” Emma said. “But do you remember me, Amir?” The question held a note of flirtation, and I remembered how tipsy Emma had been earlier in the evening. It felt like a lifetime had passed since we’d spoken on the patio.
Amir slowly moved his eyes from mine to look at Emma. His teeth were still as white as shells and rounded in a way that softened the forced smile he gave her.
“You’re Will’s sister. And you’ve grown up to be beautiful. That’s no surprise.” Amir’s voice was suddenly flat. I realized that he’d managed to compliment Emma and withdraw the compliment in practically the same breath, implying her beauty was predictable, and unaffecting.
But Emma blushed. “Really?” She looked down at her dress and then clasped and unclasped her long fingers. “That’s, well... thank you.”
Will slipped his arm around my waist.
“I don’t want to keep you all from the party,” Amir said.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.
“Oh, but you have to come in!” said Emma. “You’ll stay, won’t you?”
“If the lady of the house will have me.”
My laughter sounded strange. “‘The lady of the house.’ When did you start speaking like that? Of course you should come in.” I hoped he didn’t hear my hesitation. I couldn’t stand the thought of Amir leaving, but the idea of him in the home that I shared with Will...
“Fantastic,” Emma said, looking back and forth between the three of us. “It’s settled then.”
“I’m underdressed,” said Amir. He wore a black sweater and a neat pair of jeans, both of which fit him well but didn’t appear particularly expensive.
“You look great!” Emma gushed. She ducked her head and laughed then, embarrassed.
