“A little place down the road makes popovers. They’re quite the treat with blackberries this time of year.” Marquis opened the box and Mads reached in, taking one with a groan of bliss. Blackberries were his favorite. Abundantly free fruit with a soft skin and sugary tang. Mads recalled the food from his youth, nights when he went to sleep full as could be. And when he waspregnant? He craved the fruit so badly that he’d gone through jars of the preserves, wishing for the season to arrive.
Mads sank his teeth into the sugary crust, relishing the flakes and crunch of the granules. And the fruit, sweetened a little but still blackberries.Thathe recalled vividly. He moaned with utter delight, taking one bite after another. “Oh goddesses. This is good. Mff.”
Marquis smiled at him.
“Fruit cake. Dutchess potatoes… And some roast chicken.” Mads blinked up at Marquis and spoke through a mouth of food before swallowing.
He frowned in confusion for a moment before dawning realization lit his gaze. “The night you snuck into my room looking for—someone else.”
Mads’s heart seized when he anticipated the name but relaxed, warming so delightfully as Marquis avoided saying it.
“I’d not eaten in two days. I was starving. It was the best thing I’d ever eaten.” Mads laughed.
Marquis’s eyes widened for a moment as if he realized something. “You never told me that…”
“I told you I was poor.” Mads went for another pastry. “S’why I was so skinny. Not anymore.”
Mads was a far sight from being fat, but he’d been nearly skin and bones back then.
“I was so afraid when your heat hit that getting pregnant would sap your body. I fawned over you so much.” Marquis sighed, eyes glittering as Mads tore into it. The alpha always got sappy when he ate.
“Speaking of heats. When did they figure out suppressants? I’ve not had one since I’ve been here. I panicked a bit because I usually have one at least every other month.” Mads wandered off to sit in his armchair. Another one had been brought in that morning while he slept, apparently, and Marquis sat next to him,face a mask, hiding his real feelings beneath it. Mads always could tell when he worried.
“I’m not sure. I’ve not been with an omega since…” Marquis cleared his throat. “Well… You.”
Mads had been with alphas, since. Been through heats with alphas, mainly Baron, sometimes one of his buddies as abonus. Being attuned to one’s mate had its bonuses, though. No surprise babies. No pregnancy scares. But also, no relief. No knot or cock slid into him could quench the fire.
Not that any of them cared.And Mads went along with it, did as he was told… Though, the gods only knew why.
“I don’t want to hide things from you, Marquis.” Mads pulled the pastry from his mouth and took a deep breath. “You said you’ve not been with any omegas.”
“I was with Doris. Nobody else. She was there, and part of me really wants to say that she had some spell or hold on me, but I’ll never know for certain. I know she was keeping you addled, and that was enough for me to never trust her again. Never love her.” Marquis swallowed hard. “And I won’t ask—”
“Ask. You deserve to know. Numbers? I can’t give you one. Baron and Damien used me as they pleased. So did anyone else that Baron offered me to. Some willingly, some unwillingly.” Mads didn’t look at him for fear of seeing disgust.
“I cannot imagine you being willing.” Marquis kept his voice steady.
“I was.” Mads hugged himself. “I craved touch and attention and love constantly. Just because I can’t remember everything doesn’t mean I don’t understand. Didn’t understand.”
“I see.” Marquis set the box down on a coffee table and turned more toward Mads to stare him down. Mads avoided his gaze, kept staring at the floor with his arms wrapped tight.
“So, yeah. I wasn’t an angel.” Mads huffed and his eyes stung with tears.
“Any clue what my brother used to keep you subdued? It wasn’t wish. You didn’t show the signs.” Marquis’s voice came out soft and small.
“I don’t know. I think it was befuddlement at first, some spell or another. Then it was drugs. Real stuff. Hawthorne cap mushroom extract. I took whatever they gave me.” Mads cleared his throat.
“I cannot say it doesn’t hurt to hear that. But I hurtforyou. I’m not angry.” Marquis’s voice sounded as stuffy and light as ever and Mads glanced up, watching the pity in his face turn to something else. Not lust, maybe familiarity, but it softened as if he weren’t used or broken. Like he’d met him for the first time all over again.
“It would be easier if you were angry. That way we could shout at one another. I could throw a pastry. We could both cry.” Mads flopped his head back and closed his eyes.
A rustle of paperboard preceded a flicking noise as part of a pastry hit his face.
Mads jumped and stared at the piece of bread in his lap then glanced at Marquis. He stared at the mage, who stared back at him almost curiously. “I have thrown food.”
“You bastard!” Mads popped it into his mouth.
“No, my parents were married. You, technically, are a bastard.” Marquis snorted.
