‘I’d say nothing is clear to him right now,’ said Audrey gravely. ‘I’m not saying he did the right thing and I’m definitely not saying you’re wrong to be hurt by his change of direction, but maybe it’s not to do with you at all.’
‘It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m going home tomorrow,’ Netta said, resolute. ‘He’s made himself clear and I’m not going to hang around, hoping he’ll change his mind. I want to be gone before the article comes out on New Year’s Day. And I have bigger fish to fry, anyway.’
‘Ah yes,’ said Audrey, her pain au chocolat still untouched. ‘The baby.’
Netta shook her head sadly. ‘I don’t know if I can anymore. I can’t take his money now that we’ve slept together, Audrey. I’d feel like a—’
‘Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say, because you know very well that’s not what you are.’ Audrey’s dulcet voice was as close to shrill as Netta had ever heard it. ‘You need that money, Netta.’
Netta released a heavy breath. ‘I don’t know, Audrey. It’s not sitting well.’
‘Netta. That day in the café, I told you I’d still had a wonderful life even though I didn’t get to have a baby. And that’s true. Very true. But I still ache for the family I missed out on. Every day. Don’t let a misguided conscience stand in the way of what you want.’ She took Netta’s hand in hers. ‘And don’t give up on him, either. If your connection was as strong as you say it was, he might just be worth waiting for. Maybe after he has some time to process it all, he’ll call you and you’ll get married and the wedding photos will be inVogueand it’ll all be wonderful. Fletcher can be the ring bearer!’
Netta managed a wan smile. ‘I’m not waiting for a fairy tale anymore, Audrey, with Mo or anyone else. My Prince Charming got lost in the post. And you know what? I’m sick of giving guys chances. I’m so sick to death of it. I’m almost forty, and all I’ve ever done is give guyschances.I’ll be okay. I always am. Sort of. But I have to draw the line here. This has been an adventure, and also a huge mistake. It’s just time to go home and get my life sorted.’
Chapter Forty-Four
MO
‘What’s this about her wanting to give the money back, Mo?’ Rhona’s voice was a pick axe. ‘And why’s she booked herself onto a flight back to Australia tomorrow?’
‘Hello to you too, Rhona.’ Mo held the phone limply to his ear as he lay on his bed. The drawn drapes had plunged the room into premature darkness—a feeble attempt to end the disaster of a day early. He hadn’t moved a muscle for the hour he’d been home.
‘I thought you were a bit quiet when you dropped the car back but clearly something’s gone down in Margate you’re not telling me about,’ Rhona said. ‘What happened?’
Mo released a long, exhausted breath. ‘I fucked up, okay?’
‘Elaborate.’
‘We—’ Mo clamped his lips together and tried to herd his thoughts. ‘I’m sure you can work it out.’
Rhona sighed. ‘You slept together, right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, duh, Mo! That was obviously going to happen. The chemistry between you two was likeBridgertonon steroids! And Netta’s great! So what’s the issue?’
‘That’snot the issue. The issue is— Oh, Christ, Rhona, do we have to do this?’
‘Yes. We do.’
‘I told her something, okay?’ he said. ‘I told her why I needed the diary back so badly that I made her come from the other side of the planet to give it to me. And now she knows who I really am.That’swhy she can’t wait to get away.’
There was a gentle silence at Rhona’s end of the call. ‘You must’ve felt very comfortable with her to have told her that,’ she said. ‘You haven’t even told me.’
‘I did,’ he admitted. ‘There’s something about her—’
‘That makes you feel like a real person?’
She’d nailed it with irritating precision. As usual. ‘Yeah.’
‘But isn’t that good, Mo?’ said Rhona. ‘To not have to besomeoneall the time, and just be able to beyou?’
Mo ran his free hand through his hair, gripping it just tight enough to hurt a little. Then tighter. ‘It’s more than that,’ he said. ‘She makes me feel like I can’t hide anything.I thought I wanted to tell her, but it was a huge mistake. Some things are best left buried.’
‘How did you leave things?’ Rhona asked.
‘I don’t know.’ Mo rolled onto his side, letting the phone balance precariously on his ear as he jammed his hands between his pressed-together thighs. ‘She seemed pissed off.’
