“Stop being”—hiccup—“an idiot.” I stumble into the room, place my things beside the bed, and lie down, trying my best to be quiet. Parker watches me from the doorway, relaxed against its frame with his arms crossed and one ankle hooked over the other.
“Okay, I’m going to sleep out here now. Goodnight,” he whispers.
“Parker,” I whisper-yell.
“Shh,” he says, glancing at Rose. “Okay. Just… keep it down.” He straightens and walks toward the bed and my heart rate escalates with each step, until his broad frame towers over me.
I shuffle over, and he lies on his back next to me. He tucks his hands under his head, eyes fixed on the ceiling.He takes up so much space, my back is flush against the wall for the both of us to fit without touching.
I study the profile of his face, the swell of his lips, his straight nose and dark blond lashes. I trace his silhouette, the rise and fall of his chest. He must sense me staring again, because he turns his head toward me, our noses less than an inch apart. His dilated pupils lock with mine, stealing my breath. I’m suddenly one hundred times more sober.
My breathing quickens as I observe him. Even in his translucent state, tiny flecks of brown fill his amber eyes, and freckles spot his cheeks. I focus on the freckle above his top lip and an image of my tongue sweeping across it, tasting him, flashes across my mind. My pulse spikes, but I don’t break his unwavering stare.
He studies my features in turn, as if memorizing them. Under his penetrating stare, awareness ripples through my entire body, every skin cell scorching.
“You know, you never told me your favorite place,” I whisper, breaking the silence.
His mouth curves into a gentle, nostalgic smile. “There was a beach I used to visit with my family. It was my favorite place in the world,” he says, his voice deep and soft. “The dirt’s so red it bleeds into the sand, and it has these massive, red sandstone cliffs that hang over the ocean. And the water is the most vivid, turquoise blue. I’ll never forget the first time I saw you—that little wedge of color in your right eye.” His gaze hasn’t left mine, tracing my features as he speaks. “All I could see were those red rocks, jutting over the sea.” He shifts and places his transparent hand on top of mine. “God, I’ve missed you.”
I stare at his large hand resting over mine, yet I feelnothing. No weight or warmth. Only air, as if he isn’t touching me at all.
“It’s impossible,” I say.
A sad smile plays on his lips. “Another downside to losing my abilities and being in the wrong time.” His eyes lock with mine again. “But I’d give anything to touch you, one last time.”
Rose stirs in the bed beside us, partially rousing, and I swallow my reply. My heart’s in overdrive, my fingers aching. I’ve never wanted to touch anyone in my life more than in this moment. Is it a cruel blessing that I can’t? I’ve dreamed of the warmth of Parker’s skin, the passion in his embrace. Would it differ in real life? What would life be like at Neurovida with Parker’s younger self? Am I accepting this bizarre fate? Giving up any hope of the normal life I’ve been fighting to create? And if I do, when will that be? How many more nights will I have to wait until our times align?
I ignore the tiny voice of reason in the back of my mind, muddled by darkness and vodka, whispering that I’ll never throw it away—everything I’m working toward—to be a time traveler. That I can’t have Parkeranda normal life.
But just for tonight, I’ll let myself pretend.
“Go to sleep, Ella,” Parker whispers, but his greedy gaze stays trained on me.
I’m unsure whether we lie there for minutes or hours, silently staring at one another, my heart pounding in my chest. But at some point I fall asleep, and when I wake, both Rose and the man from my dreams are gone.
14Rose
I yank Parker into the corridor outside our apartment. “What the fuck were you thinking, having Ella in there?” Is he trying to torture himself? I need to get him out of here before it’s too late. Before he does something reckless. I drag on my vape and take off along the corridor.
“She was locked out. What was I supposed to do, let her sleep in the corridor?” he asks, easily keeping up with my brisk strides.
I suppress the urge to hit him.Typical, arrogant Parker, never admitting his mistakes.“Yes, you should have. The more time you spend with her, the higher the chances our memories will split when we get back. Plus, being around her puts her in danger.” I bring my hand to my pounding head. “I shouldn’t need to spell this out to you.”
“Shewasin danger.” His mouth twists, and he gestures to the worn hallway carpet. “Look at this floor.”
I yank him into the small rec room by the stairs, feeling like a bomb with a faulty switch, ready to explode at any second. “This isn’t a fucking joke, Parker.” I jab him in the chest. “You need to leave her alone.”
“You’re the one wearing her jacket. It looks good on you, by the way.” He reaches up and adjusts my collar, hisbulging biceps encasing my face. “Who knew you could wear anything but black and not combust into flames.”
I smack his hands away. “Don’t change the subject. Put an end to this. Tell her you won’t see her again.”
His smile falters. “I promised I’d take her to see her mother.”
“So? She’ll get over it. We aren’t here for her. Jesus Christ, Parker, we’re here to fix your powers, not play house in the past.” Parker’s expression hardens, but I step forward, my face an inch from his. “You need to hear this. You’re deluding yourself if you think you can have a life here with her.”
“I know that,” he says, stepping away from me, but I match him step for step.
“I don’t think you do.”
