The word knifes through me. “Don’t call me that.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Please,” I add with far less fire.
His brows shoot up, and he studies my face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Parker, where are you?” a husky voice calls from behind the tree.
His head snaps toward the voice and, for a split second, his body stills. She calls him again and he abruptly stands. Every nerve in my body tingles as he drags his gaze over me once more, as if committing me to memory. “I wish I could stay. Goodbye, Ella.”
Then he slips his hands into his pockets and strolls away.
4Rose
“At least McGregor agreed to meet with us,” Parker says later, as we trudge toward a college bar to kill time until our evening meeting.
No thanks to Parker, who’d bailed halfway through our conversation. “A meeting doesn’t guarantee his help,” I say, clenching my fists to stop hacking at my clean nails.
After cornering McGregor, we’d snuck into the college gym to clean up. Thank the academic gods for gym bathrooms and communal soap. I haven’t been this clean for weeks.
“Stop staring at me,” Parker says, running his hand across his head. He’d exited the men’s bathroom clean-shaven, hair buzzed to a number three or four.
I press my lips together to suppress a laugh. Parker self-conscious is a rare treat and there’s no way I’m going to ease his insecurity. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. It’s a massive change.”
A muscle tenses in his jaw. “When are you going to stop calling me that? And it’s not like I can drop into a barber whenever I want.”
“Are you okay?” I stare at him flatly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I hate you,” he says, sauntering ahead of me, but not before I catch the dimple in his cheek.
“Should we contact the press? Get ahead of this sowecontrol the story?” I call to the back of his head.
We enter the campus bar overlooking the river and weave past wooden tables filled with students reeking of body odor, stale beer and privilege. I shout our drink order over the dim bar, competing with club chanting and drunken banter. The moment our drinks are in my hand, Parker and I head outside where it’s quieter and I won’t cop judgment for vaping. He leads me to a small bench overlooking the water, and I sit beside him in silence.
Tones of red, burnt orange and indigo are smudged across the sky behind the remnants of storm clouds. I let out a deep breath. Is this what life’s supposed to be like?
Perhaps if my parents hadn’t abandoned me, I’d be one of these advantaged students, drinking after class with my friends, my only worry passing my next exam. I push the thought from my mind. That will never be my reality.
I turn to Parker, who’s swirling the whiskey in his glass. My head throbs. “What if McGregor won’t help us?” I ask.If he doesn’t, I’ll be forced to choose between Parker and the one thing I’ve spent my entire life chasing: safety.
His light brown gaze flickers to mine, and he tilts his head so we’re eye to eye. “He will. Everything will be okay, Rose.” His confidence is almost believable.
“You don’t know that,” I say, unable to stomach the hope brimming in his eyes. There’s something else there, too. Something that hints at camaraderie, because we’re riding out this storm together. And I need to shut it down. Because Parker isn’t my ally or my friend. I’m helping him to repay my debt to a friend, and then I’m done.
I turn toward a small rowboat floating past, creatingtiny ripples in the water that blur as my eyes lose focus. “Remember, the second McGregor helps us, we go our separate ways.”
“I know,” Parker says, and for the first time since we fell into this mess, he sounds tired.
Silence stretches between us until our glasses are empty and we’re sitting in darkness.
“Are you okay?” Parker rests his arm on my shoulder.
My stomach clenches and I shrug him off. “Get off me. I’m fine.” I turn to face him, and snort. “Iamworried the yacht club will replace you as their poster boy once they see your new haircut.”
The crease in his brow eases. “You’re unbearable.”
“Am I?” I ask, pushing my face toward his until we’re nose to nose. “AmIthe unbearable one, Jimmy?”
Parker laughs and shoves me away. “Go get me another drink.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I turn away with a wave of my hand.
