Parker’s grip on my hands tightens. “What are you…?” he mutters under his breath, his energy rushing through me. The room presses in on me, as if I’m a square being squeezed through a tight, circular space. The sensation eases, a gust of cool air conditioning igniting pebbles across my skin. My heart rate accelerates, my breaths now quickened, adrenaline-fueled pants. The silent space surrounding me is thick with tension.
We’re no longer in Parker and Rose’s apartment.
A bloodcurdling scream pierces the air.
“Fuck,” Parker yells, yanking his hands from mine. Electricity erupts beneath my skin, and the bedroom reappears. Parker stumbles away from me with a gaping mouth.
“What was that?” I ask, my heart thrashing against my ribs.
“Why did you do that?” Parker’s face is pale, his eyes squeezed shut as if he’s in pain.
“What was it?” I ask again, but Parker remains silent, running a hand through his hair. “Please, Parker. I need answers. That was a dream I’ve had since I was a little girl. What happens to me?”
Parker slumps onto the edge of his bed, and I perch beside him. He’s silent for a beat with his head hung, then he turns to face me. “I think… that was the day I lost my powers.” His voice turns raspy, as if each word scrapes against his vocal cords. “You were hurt, Ella. But now I have my powers back, Rose and I are going to stop anything from happening to you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I sit up beside him. “Why keep these things from me?”
“Because I’m selfish. And it’s easier when you’reyou, not a time traveler or an Alpha, and you’re here and safe.” He cups my cheek, rubbing his thumb over my cheekbone. “I want you to live in the now. Knowing things about your future will drive you crazy. Please trust me, everything’s going to be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
I nod, wanting to believe he’s right.
He stretches his hands toward me. “Let’s try visiting another memory of your mother?”
“Okay,” I say, resting my palms on his.
I repeat the same process as before, focusing on the darkness behind my eyelids before recalling the warmth of my mother’s embrace beside the ocean, but the seaside park doesn’t appear.
Another thirty minutes later, Parker groans. His hair’s sticking up at odd angles from the excessive number of times he’s run his hands through it. “I don’t understand why it’s not working. There must be something wrong with my powers. I’ll go and speak with McGregor. Maybe there’s something in his journal about losing skills or—”
“It’s okay, Parker,” I say, despite the fierce ache in my chest.
“No,” he says, his voice breaking. “I promised I’d take you to see your mom.”
“I guess I’ll have to go and see her myself… once I learn to travel at Neurovida.” I don’t know when I made the final decision. I guess deep down, a part of me always knew. I can’t explain it, but something is pulling me toward Neurovida.
Parker stills, his eyebrows furrowing as if he’s heard me wrong. Then his mouth pulls into a wide, dimpled grin, and he rushes toward me, lifting me off my feet. He holds me against his chest, engulfing me in his scent.
“I’m going to miss you,” he says into my ear, and he lowers me to the ground.
His hands slip into mine and my fingertips tingle, as if they have their own burning need for his touch.
“When will I see you again?” I ask.
“At Neurovida, when you’re recruited.” He smiles, but no dimples appear.
My heart sinks. It isn’t fair. Our time together has barely begun. I bump my shoulder against his. “But I’ll never seeyouagain.”
“It’ll still be me. I’ll just be younger.” He laughs. “And dumber.”
It might still be him, but his past self won’t remember me. He won’t know me the way Parker does. He’ll be a stranger.
Parker reaches up and brushes the tears from my cheeks. “I know this is hard, but I can’t keep showing up and disappearing from your life. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and you’ve seen what being here for so long did to Rose. Little by little, you lose pieces of yourself. I don’t want that to happen to me. I need my mind clear for what’s ahead of me.”
I nod, but inside, my heart’s breaking.
“I’ll travel from here,” he says, his amber eyes dim. My heart rate doubles.
This is it. I’ll never seehimagain. I’ll never have the chance to ask him my questions, to learn about his life before Neurovida, his fears and his dreams, to love him the way I want.
