Parker’s a living statue with his hands in his pockets, skin aglow from the warm, golden light cast by the fireplace. His honey-hued gaze meets mine and heat floods my body.
“Fuck. Those eyes,” he says, his voice low and raspy. He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t look at me like that.”
I take in the king-sized bed sitting against the main wall of the cabin and the grand bathtub in the corner, flickering candles scattered along its edge. “Then you shouldn’t have brought me somewhere like this,” I say, not daring to take my eyes off him again. Heart racing, I suck in a shallow breath containing little oxygen.
He stares back at me intensely, his chest rising and falling as if he’s out of breath. “You’re right.”
I don’t know who moves first, but in a heartbeat I’m back in his arms, his mouth claiming mine. His kiss is rough anddesperate, as if at any minute we might be thrown back into that dark room where my life was taken.
His hands trailing my body, our chests crushed together, he urges me backward until we’re stumbling toward the bed, falling onto it with our lips locked. His body covers mine, pressing me down into the soft mattress, the evidence of his arousal firm against my stomach.
A heady need courses through my veins, and I grind against him, reveling in the deep, pained groan that rumbles from his chest. He plants fast, messy kisses down my neck and I want to stay here forever, cocooned beneath him, his consuming scent my own personal aphrodisiac. But I need his bare skin against mine.
I tug the bottom of his shirt, and he breaks our kiss, shifting his weight to reach behind his head and slide it off in one fluid movement. He tosses it on the floor, muscles rippling beneath my touch, and returns his mouth to mine.
I reach for the top button of his pants, and he pulls away from me, as if he’s awoken from a spell.
“Ella,” he says, and the word sounds pained. He sits up. “Wait.”
“I want this,” I say, sitting up beside him. I wantmorethan heated glances and stolen touches. I wanthim. All of him. “The way I see it, I either don’t go to Neurovida and I live, or I’m recruited and I die—”
“Don’t say that,” he begs. “I swear to you, I’ll stop it from happening.”
“—and I want to know I lived the short time I have left with you the wayIwant it. If people have been changing things in my life without my knowledge, at least with thisI’mthe one who gets to choose. Please don’t take that away from me.”
Parker’s eyes race back and forth between mine. “What are you saying?”
I lean toward him, bringing my lips to his. His hands remain by his sides, his kiss cautious, the fire behind it stifled to smoking embers.
“Touch me,” I plead, my cheeks burning.
A cheeky grin creeps across his face. “I’m going to miss that,” he says, brushing his thumb over the redness in my cheek. “I can count on one hand the number of times I saw you blush at Neurovida. But to be fair, all of them involved the absence of clothing.”
“Don’t tell me,” I say, scrunching my nose.
His eyebrow twitches. “Why?”
Because it may never happen.The thought stabs at my heart. But if I take the antidote—if I go to Neurovida—I’ll havetimewith Parker. The chance to fall in love with him. I shut the thought down. I need time to process everything I’ve learned. To sift through the truths and the lies.
Parker’s still staring at me, waiting for my answer. I can’t bring myself to maintain eye contact and instead stare into the fire. “I don’t know. I guess I want to find those things out when I’m supposed to. It’s kind of exciting… the thought ofyoumeetingmefor the first time.”
I peer up to catch him grinning. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” he teases.
“At least I’ll have the upper hand.”
Parker takes my hands in his, and I relish the warmth of his skin. “Ella, youalwayshave the upper hand when it comes to us.”
Us.Something inside me melts at the word, but it re-condenses into a cold, rigid mass. In my future, we would’ve been together if it weren’t for Silas. Now we can’t unless I take the antidote, ensuring my death. Again, I push the thoughts away. Silas won’t taint any more of my memories. This moment is about me and Parker, not anyone else or the impossible decisions ahead of us.
I press my lips to his, and he wraps his arms around me, drawing me closer.
“I want it to be you, Parker,” I whisper into his lips.
He tips his face toward me and spends a moment searching my gaze, a small frown between his brows. “It’s Liam. My real name. I don’t want secrets between us.”
“Liam,” I repeat, and it sparks something inside of him, his eyes changing from a cool amber to a warm honey as if they have a will of their own.
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, knuckles grazing my cheekbone. His hand lingers by my face and my skin tingles beneath his touch. It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. “Touch me,” I beg.
