“My contact received an anonymous tip the day I walked away from theRaat-Sarpa.The crew was arrested, the ship scrapped, and the passengers taken home.”
Relief. Relief that I hadn’t made the wrong decision; that I hadn’t allowed a monster into my child’s life, my bed, my heart.
I soften my voice. “Still, you can’t forgive yourself.”
Tanisira closes her eyes, shakes her head.
I’m still apprehensive, still aching, but I approach anyway, climb into her lap and cup her jaw in my hands. She was doing the best she could with what she had.
Tanisira looks from eye to eye, scouring my face. Her hands, hesitant and slow, settle against the small of my back. It’s a comfort I didn’t know I needed.
“Thank you for doing that for me. I see how hard it was to step back into that world, and you did it just to spare me the pain. I trust you,” I say gently, surprised to find that I still do. “Everyone on this ship does. So you have to trust yourself, Tee, or you’ll always be here, crucifying yourself. I know you’re hurting, and I won’t make false promises—it will always hurt. But you can learn from it, okay?”
Tanisira swallows hard. I feel it against my palms. She nods, falteringly.
“Has this changed your opinion of me?” she asks in a voice that abrades me the whole way down. It’s not that I think masculine-presenting women shouldn’t show emotion, or vulnerability—that’s a ridiculous fucking notion—but that I hate Tanisira feeling like this because ofme. She reached back into her murky past forme, didn’t hesitate to debase herself for my health. But she’s grown, and I don’t want to diminish this gift because of my guilt.
“It’s a lot to process, but I don’t think less of you.”
Tanisira grimaces, slides her gaze away.
“Captain Tanisira—”
I’m so wired; I don’t even jump. Kit has appeared, delicate hands folded politely.
“I told you no disturbances.”
“An emergency has presented itself.”
Tanisira sighs, glances at me, and then gestures for the AI to continue. I slide off her lap and onto the cushion beside her.
“The Archival brothers are asking to board. They say it’s urgent.”
A frown creates a deep slash across Tanisira’s brow. “Who are—” She stops, realisation dawning. “Maximus and Julian?”
I jerk at that. “Urgent?”
“They insist they don’t have much time.”
“What’s the emergency?” Tanisira asks.
“They won’t tell me. They wish to speak to you.”
She sighs, turning a look of frustration on me. “Are you coming?”
I don’t know if she asks because she wants to continue our conversation or because I’m better with people than she is. Right now, I think I’m too tired to even care.
We go straight there. Standing in the cargo bay, Maximus looks regal and Julian severe—so, the same as when we last saw them. Except now they both have an air of apprehension around them. This worries me more on Julian, who has bulging muscles and a quiet competence about him that’s usually comforting. They’ve had a chance to change and now wear expensive, tailored outfits. Maximus is wrapped in a satiny, gleaming bronze, thigh-length jacket that hugs the shape of his lithe body like a second skin. A high collar extends around the back of his neck just enough to form a horseshoe, exposing the elegant stretch of his neck and Adam’s apple. It sits asymmetrically over a pair of dark, slinky trousers. He looks like a prince.
Julian, in comparison, looks like a security detail. His thick leather jacket is no frills, flush against his waist and zipped up over lightweight pants. Despite its simplicity, it looks well-made and of high quality. I suspect there are several weapons hidden within it.
“Captain.” Maximus nods at us. “Marlowe.”
“Hey guys.” I smile tentatively. It’s been a shit day, and the tension is dense, but it’s nice to see them anyway—even if Julian just scowls at the ground.
Tanisira crosses her arms, having shrugged on her defences like a coat. “What’s the urgency?”
“We will pay you to take us to Red Horizon with you,” Julian says bluntly, surprising us both. Maximus turns to his brother with exasperation. They’re such opposites of each other, it’salmost funny. Julian was adopted—he’d told us—but it’s never made a difference to them. It certainly doesn’t stop them from getting frustrated with each other.
