Throwing off the unused drop sheet she’d used as a blanket, Beth got to her feet and traipsed to the front door, straightening the clothes she’d been wearing since yesterday.
She opened the door to find Ellie glaring at her.
‘You disappeared.’ Her tone was accusatory.
Beth wrapped her arms around her middle. ‘I stayed here last night.’
‘You cleared your stuff from your room.’
It wasn’t a question, that much was clear, but Beth answered anyway with a rather lame, ‘I’d always planned to move in here.’
Ellie huffed out a disbelieving and completely humourless laugh. ‘You left without a word.’
Beth winced. She already knew she was pathetic—did Ellie really have to remind her?
‘Is this because I got angry with you? Because that happens sometimes, Beth. People get angry. That doesn’t mean you just run away.’
‘I wasn’t running away.’ She could say that with conviction, at least. ‘I just … I wanted to give you space.’
‘Don’t you think I should get to decide whether I need space?’
Beth thought about it, but in the end, all she did was shrug. Her head was a jumbled mess. She knew the answer was in there somewhere, but she had no hope of formulating a coherent sentence right now.
‘God, Beth, I swear.’ Ellie turned to leave, then whirled back immediately. ‘You make it so hard sometimes, you know that? Just talk to me!’
Beth flinched, as if Ellie’s words had been a physical blow. Because shedidmake it hard. She madeeverythingso bloody hard.
Looking away, she hugged her arms tighter around her middle and opened her mouth to speak. Because she wanted, more than anything, to communicate. Ellie was her friend. Shewantedto tell her how she was feeling, she just … couldn’t.
‘Right—’ Ellie threw her hands in the air, ‘—I give up!’ She turned and stomped down the front steps, throwing her final words over her shoulder without a backwards glance. ‘Let me know when you’re ready to talk.’
Beth watched Ellie get into her car, slam her door and drive away. And that’s when the shaking started.
Unable to control the tremors, Beth looked down at her hands. The unwelcome sensation travelled up her arms to her shoulders until her whole body quaked. Choking out a sob, she sank to the floor and slumped against the wall.
Her worst fear was being realised—she was alone again. Ellie had given up on her and clearly Noah had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t worth the effort, either. Otherwise, he’d be here.
She didn’t blame either of them. She’d give up on her too if she could.
So, not that much had changed, really. Her life was much the same as it had been before she’d learned about Pru and Karlup. Before she’d met Ellie and Noah and Flo. Her location had changed, sure, but she’d been alone in Townsville, and now she was alone here. Except here, there were so many happy memories taunting her. Reminding her of a time when she’d hoped for something more. Envisioned a future filled with love and family and happiness. At least in Townsville, she’d had no misconceptions about her capacity for connection.
She’d always feared she’d grow old alone and now here was proof that it was indeed her destiny. She just had to pick herself up off the floor and accept it.
But she did no such thing. Instead, she lay down and curled up on her side, her face turned towards the open front door so she could watch the world go by, ignoring her as it always did.
Tomorrow, she thought, and closed her eyes. Tomorrow, she’d accept her fate and do what needed to be done. But today, all she was going to do was lie here and try her best to ignore the pain.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
Beth lifted her head and, after a moment of déjà vu, rolled over and groaned. Had this mattress always been so uncomfortable?
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she sat up, then winced when she got a whiff of herself. Looking down at the work uniform still clinging to her frame, she realised two whole days had passed since she’d showered. Disgusted, she clambered to her feet and set about finding some fresh clothes. She’d had her chance to fall apart and wallow. Today, she had stuff to do. This property wasn’t going to put itself on the market, the perfect place in Townsville wasn’t just going to fall into her lap, and her boss at Dream Home Builders wasn’t going to call out of the blue and ask her to come back. She was going to have to work for all of it.
Thinking wistfully of her quiet corner in the DHB lunch room, she resolved to email her former employer as a first priority. She could really do with feeling invisible again.
Life had been simpler in Townsville. No chance of heartbreak.
