Before I came here, I was Bethany Sullivan—a woman who’d grown from a quiet and meek little girl, one who’d spent every waking moment trying not to do or say anything that made her mother sad, and those learned behaviours were hard to shake. As I grew, my goal was never to draw attention to myself. Ever. I hid in the shadows. I kept to myself. And I was lonely. So lonely.
Then, suddenly, I wasn’t Bethany Sullivan anymore. I didn’t know who that was, or if she was ever meant to exist, but Bethany Campbell was a stranger, too. She was someone who should’ve had a home, friends, a family, and although I yearned for those things desperately, I had no experience with them and didn’t know how to navigate a life with them in it. But in coming here to Karlup, I found them. This place and the people here welcomed me, accepted me as one of their own, and although I’ve tried to fight it, they managed to break through the barriers I’d built to protect myself—and I love them for it. I don’t want to push them away anymore. Even if it means I might lose them one day. Love, I’ve learned, is worth the risk.
There have been other surprises, too. I’ve learned about my family and where I come from, and that knowledge has connected me to this place in a way I only ever dreamed about before. What I never expected, though, was to learn more about my mother than I ever did when she was alive. For so long, I resented Rosie for the life she forced me to live, but I know now there were reasons—the specifics of which I may never know. Maybe it was her traumatic childhood and adolescence, maybe it was a personality disorder or something else, but at least now I understand that my mother was hurting and she’d tried to cope in the best way she knew how. If only I could give her a hug and tell her it’s okay. That I love her and forgive her. Wherever she is, I hope she knows that.
It’s funny how life works sometimes, but in trying to understand Rosie, I found myself. I learned the truth of whoIam. I am Bethany Sullivan-Campbell, an autistic woman with a passion for the world around me, who sees beauty in the small things. I enjoy spending time in quiet contemplation and expressing myself through words and art. And although I understand that being autistic comes with its challenges, I am committed to embracing who I am and loving every part of me. Even the parts that make life hard sometimes.
Another thing I’ve learned is what I want from life—beyond a home, friends and family. Now that I have those things, I can dream bigger.
Noah, meeting you and seeing your passion for renovating has awakened something in me that was always there, though I didn’t know it. While you love the process of making an old house new again, I dream of helping people create ahome, a safe space where they can heal from life’s troubles and make memories with their loved ones. Who knows, maybe that’s the real reason I applied for the job at Dream Home Builders all those years ago, because of what the business represented. But now I can see a new path forward—one where we build this dream together. I can only hope that’s what you want, too, but if not, I’ll find another way. Now that I know what I want, I won’t rest until I make it my reality.
So, that’s me. Who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. Bethany Sullivan-Campbell, autistic woman and builder of dreams.
She let herself into the house and dumped her keys on the kitchen bench. With the rooms still void of furniture and her head full of Noah and their uncertain future, she made her way outside onto the deck, her favourite place, where home met the beauty of nature. She breathed deeply, filling her lungs with country air and her heart with happiness. No matter what lay ahead, she was here to stay. She was home.
Unaware of how much time had passed, she turned at the sound of her front door opening and closing. A moment later, Noah appeared, striding towards her, through the house and the patio door she’d left open. And then he was there in front of her, pulling her into his arms and sliding his hands into her hair as he kissed her.
She went up on her toes and threw her arms around him. He lifted her off her feet and she melted against him. Eventually, he put her down again, lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles.
‘So, you’re autistic, huh?’
Staring at him, she saw the truth in his eyes. He wouldn’t hurt her. She was safe with him. Always had been and always would be.
She rested her forehead against his chest, finally able to relax. ‘I was worried you wouldn’t want me anymore.’
He tipped her chin up and gave her a meaningful look. ‘I will never not want you.’
Her lip trembled. ‘I’m so sorry I pushed you away.’
He shook his head. ‘You were dealing with a lot.’
‘It’s no excuse.’
He stroked his thumb against her skin. ‘Just promise me that you won’t shut me out again. I can wait for as long as you need before talking about the hard stuff, just as long as I know I won’t lose you.’
‘I promise,’ she whispered and smiled through her tears. ‘I won’t shut you out. And you won’t lose me, either. I’m yours, Noah. I’ll always be yours.’
He sighed. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’
He kissed her again, making her feel loved and cherished and wanted. But they had more to discuss and so she pulled away and looked up at him.
‘Can we talk about the other thing I mentioned? Our passions?’ She didn’t want to push him, but she needed to know.
He closed his eyes and sighed. ‘I was hoping you wouldn’t bring it up.’
She stiffened in his arms. Despite promising she’d understand if he didn’t want the same things she did, she couldn’t help being disappointed. Forcing herself to relax, she dropped her gaze to his chest, stared at her hands resting there.
He cursed and lifted her chin. ‘I didn’t mean that the way it sounded, I promise. I’m not saying I don’t want to build that dream with you, Beth, I do. The picture you painted, I want it more than anything. It’s just … is it a good idea going into business together? Because this, us—’ he waved a finger between them, ‘—is always going to be more important to me than anything.’
Smiling nervously, she shrugged. ‘There’s only one way to find out.’
His mouth pulled up at the corner as his gaze roamed over her face and he stroked her cheek, his touch and his words both soft and gentle. ‘There she is, Little Miss Risk Taker. I was afraid I’d lost her.’
Her heart lurched in her chest and desire pooled in her belly. She yanked him down and kissed him with everything she had. Their breath mingled and they held each other tightly. Breathing hard and fast, Noah stilled her hands when she slid them under his shirt and, lifting one to his chest, held it over his heart.
‘Just promise me.’ His eyes searched hers. ‘If we do this,wealways come first.’
She nodded and injected as much assurance into her answer as she could. ‘I promise.’
