“Make it better, Griff,” she said.
Her cheek was fiery beneath his stroking knuckles, her hair soft in his fist, her mouth plush and wide and entirely hers. Quintessentially Candy’s. Not quiescent or accepting under his own mouth, not even from the first moment, but full of demand and passion and obvious, heartbreakingcaring.
He sucked on her tongue, swallowed her moan, and it was just like her. Exactly like her.
Unexpectedly sweet. Irresistible.
There was no mistaking her for another. No doubt in his mind whose lips he’d claimed, whose breath filled his straining lungs, whose whimper of need drew his open mouth over her stubborn jaw and down that fragrant throat in hungry, wet kisses.
And in the end, that was what made him stop.
His hand splayed and gliding over the silky cotton of her blouse, an inch away from the swell of her breast, he froze, arrested by sudden realization.
He’d done it again. Touched her without thought, without conscious intent.
Candy. Clearly, unmistakably Candy. Not Marianne.
For these past minutes, Marianne might never have existed at all, except as a sweet memory stored in the dimmest recesses of his lust-clouded mind.
His wife.
He’d forgotten his wife.
And only a careless, selfish man touched without thought, without understanding his own intentions. Without making sure those intentions wouldn’t hurt the woman beneath his hands.
Unsteady and flushed and embarrassingly erect, he heaved himself away from Candy. As she stared up at him in silence from his desk chair, hugging herself awkwardly, he stumbled over a brief apology, and then—
His own damn classroom. The kiss he’d initiated. The woman he desired.
He fled them all.
Six
It wasthe choice of a coward, Griff knew.
Instead of discussing his ignominious flight from his own classroom face-to-face with Candy, or even calling her to discuss it over the phone, he e-mailed her that night instead.
In writing, sometimes the directness that eluded him in conversation became possible. And in such an important matter, with such an important person, he needed plain words and clarity more than ever.
His hand on the mouse shook as he clickedsend.
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: An explanation and apology
Candy,I owe you an avalanche of apologies, but please let me start with this one, inadequate though it may be. I will try to be as direct as I can, because I owe that to both of us, and because I need to learn. Finally, I need to learn.
I like you. I admire you. I care about you. I want you.
That’s why I kissed you. No other reason.
I’m sorry if I caused you to doubt that. I’m sorry I left so abruptly. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry I started us down a path I couldn’t explore to its end, wholeheartedly and with clear purpose. I didn’t mean to mislead you, although we both know that’s the facile excuse of a scoundrel. It’s also—at least in this case—true.
I ran because—
Fuck, this is hard.
