“If you cook for us, we can consider that ample repayment for your portion of the utilities and all the other bills.” James set aside his cleared plate and patted the gentle mound of his stomach. “We both know how much I love your food.”
She glared at him as she removed the blueberry cheesecake from his refrigerator. “No. Absolutely not. I’ll pay an equal share.”
But after a few more rounds of argument and a couple wedges of the cheesecake, she found herself agreeing to a compromise. She’d get a discount on the bills in exchange for cooking, largely because he told her, his mouth set in a mulish line, that he wouldn’t eat her food otherwise. And that was unacceptable to her.
They tackled her third and final addendum over decaf coffee. By then, he’d stripped off his sweatshirt and was—rather distractingly—only wearing a worn, thin t-shirt and jeans that molded faithfully to his strong thighs.
It was unfair, to say the least.
“We need to discuss what we should do if we find ourselves interested in other people.” She looked down at the sturdy blue mug in her hand, trying not to picture the situation. “While we’re still married, I mean.”
A long silence stretched between them, and he didn’t say a word. Finally, she raised her gaze to him again.
For some reason, he looked…odd. Agitated, almost. Above his reddish-brown beard, his cheeks had flushed, and those crossed arms had tightened until she could see his biceps pulling at his tee.
She didn’t understand. Was he embarrassed at the awkwardness of the question? Or was the thought of another romantic relationshipthatrepugnant to him after the slow-motion train wreck of his marriage?
His blue eyes rested on her, sharp and intent. “Do you think it’s likely you’ll want to date another man?”
“Of course not.” She waved a hand. “I don’t have the energy for dating. And if I haven’t found someone I loved enough to marry in forty-seven years, what’s the likelihood I’m going to locate him this year?”
“You’re marrying me,” he pointed out, his shoulders dropping a fraction.
“That’s different, and we both know it.”
He made a kind of humming sound in response.
“But we should come up with a plan in caseyoumeet someone.” And God, why did that thought send a lightning bolt of pain through her chest?
He dismissed her statement with a shrug. “Nah. I’m good.”
She didn’t have the strength to argue more. Or maybe she didn’twantto argue more, not about that. “Fine. Forget about it.”
Then, to her shock, he added one final addendum of his own.
“We can divorce once you’re eligible for individual insurance again.” He reached out to clasp her hand, a gesture he seemed to make all the time now. As always, it felt warm and comforting in a way that discomfited her. “But we don’t have to. I want that clear. As far as I’m concerned, we can stay married forever.”
Why? Why would he make that offer?
She laughed through the ache and the longing. “I’m unfit for human company before I’ve had at least two cups of tea in the morning. When I cook or bake, I manage to dirty every dish, measuring cup, and utensil available. And I like to take nightly hour-long baths that use up all the hot water in the house. You don’t want me as your permanent wife. Trust me.”
He didn’t laugh in response. “I do trust you. That’s my point.”
Oh, God. The sweetness of that stung.
“I don’t see myself marrying anyone else, Elizabeth. Not soon, not ever. I also think we’d make a good team. And as far as your baths, my hot water heater has way more capacity than yours.” He raised an eyebrow. “As you’ll soon find out, there are benefits to marrying someone in the building trades. You don’t have to give up those benefits if you don’t want to. Again: not soon, not ever.”
When she pursed her lips and looked down, he directed her eyes back to his with a gentle finger under her chin. “Just promise me you’ll think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”
So in the end, she agreed to that too.
If tonight’s discussion was a preview of their married life, she was pretty sure she’d never win an argument with James. Not a single one. Which should be a terrifying thought for someone who’d always prized her freedom, her ability to make whatever decisions she thought best.
And even through her haze of relief, shewasunnerved.
Not because he might trample on her independence—but because marriage to him already felt like so much more than a convenience.
The wedding should have endedwith a perfunctory embrace.
