His hard swallow seemed to echo in his ears.
Fuck.Fuck.
Some of her exes had been assholes to her because of her body, but she’d never told him that. At least, she’d never toldMarcusthat.
In fact, she’d only ever broached the topic of dickish dates once in his presence. Namely, when she’d posted about fat-shaming on the Lavineas server, and he’d read the post and responded. As BAWN.
He opened his mouth. Pinched it shut again.
The choice lay before him. He could lie. He could say he’d deduced the existence of horrible exes, based entirely on that whole gym-and-buffet misunderstanding from months ago.
Or he could come clean. At long last, he could stop hiding the truth from her.
He knew which choice a good man, a good partner for her, would make. But he also knew something else with a certainty that sickened him.
Ifhe’d told her the truth entirely of his own volition, he might have had a chance to salvage things. Only admitting his lie of omission now, after he’d been caught—that was the part she wouldn’t be able to forgive.
April, who cared only about the truth beneath all the pretty lies, was never going to trust him again, and he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t.
But he still needed to explain, to try, because he loved her, and she deserved the truth. No matter whether she still loved him after he told her. No matter whether she’d ever loved him to begin with.
“Marcus?” She didn’t sound sleepy anymore. Not in the slightest.
Dropping his chin to his chest, he tried to ignore the acid climbing his throat and breathed shallowly through his mouth. If his sudden nausea got any worse, though, he’d have to open the car door to spare her upholstery.
Without a word, he backed up, up, up, until they’d reached the far, empty corner of the lot once more.
With every inch he reversed, April straightened in her seat. Grew more alert, her gaze sharp as a blade against his throat.
Then they were parked, and he was almost out of time.
One last look, while she still trusted him. One last stroke of her cheek. One last moment hoping that maybe—maybe, despite everything he knew about her—she would accept his heartfelt apologies and they could still have a relationship.
Her skin was icy. And now, so was his.
“I’m Book!AeneasWouldNever,” he said.
Lavineas Server DMs, Six Months Ago
UnapologeticLavinia Stan:I feel bad. Well, kind of. Kind of not.
Book!AeneasWouldNever:???
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan:I was a bit snippy with AeneasFan83 just now, in her thread about the “historical inaccuracy” of non-white people in the show. But honestly, BAWN, does she think POC were a Victorian invention?
Book!AeneasWouldNever:I’ll look at the thread in a minute, but I have faith that if you were snippy, she deserved it. Especially since her take is total bullshit.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan:THANK YOU
Book!AeneasWouldNever:I’m here to defend your snippy honor whenever needed.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan:To be fair, I was already upset before the whole POC-wouldn’t-have-been-in-Europe-even-though-there-is-a-shitload-of-contemporaneous-proof-they-totally-fucking-were conversation, and I probably took that out on her.
Unapologetic Lavinia Stan:And just to be clear, even if there weren’t people of color back then in Europe (AND THERE WERE), our show featured a fucking PEGASUS, so sit down with your hot, racist take on historical accuracy, lady.
Book!AeneasWouldNever:Another excellent point.
Book!AeneasWouldNever:So what was already upsetting you before you saw the thread?
