She’d given herself away at work, with every overtime shift she took, every holiday she worked in place of a colleague, every time she chose to ignore her increasing misery and work harder. She’d given herself away to her parents, who’d learned she would drop everything to help them at any time, no matter what they wanted. At their urging, she’d given herself away to her asshole cousin too, even though she hated him—shit, she really didhatehim—and she’d desperately needed a real vacation, not a job babysitting a man who required love rather than supervision.
Eventually, she’d given so much of herself away, there’d been almost nothing left by the time she boarded that flight to Spain.
Sionna had tried to tell her, tried to help her, but Lauren hadn’t listened.
And then Alex had given her back. Piece by piece.
By prodding her tospeak,to respond and make her voice heard. By encouraging her—as Sionna had—to be a shrew, to demand her due and act in her own best interests. By paying constant attention to her. By offering gifts. By defending her with all the love and rage and loyalty in his enormous, reckless heart. By glorying in her pleasure fully as much as his own. By insisting that her feelings and her safety and her happiness and her presence in his lifemattered,always.
More than a random fan. More than even his career.
She hadn’t asked for anything from anyone in years. Hell, she’dvolunteeredto give away more of herself andrejectedreceiving anything in return.
Alex had forced her totake. For her sake, and for his too, because he was a generous soul, and her happiness made him happy in return.
But even he couldn’t make her take that goddamn hotel money. Even he couldn’t make her accept the most loyal heart she’d ever known, despite how desperately she wanted it. Even he couldn’t make her believe she was important and worth all his sacrifices.
In the end, there was only one person who could do that.
And she was terrified out of her fucking mind that she’d ruined everything.
From atop the nightstand, her cell rang.
The number on the screen baffled her. She’d broken his best friend’s heart, so why in the world wasMarcuscalling her?
Well, if he wanted to yell at her, she deserved it. And maybe once he was done and she’d groveled a bit, he would tell her when Alex planned to return from Florida.
Or … had something gone wrong during Alex’s vacation? Had there been some sort of accident?
She snatched up the phone and stabbed at the screen. “Marcus? Is Alex okay?”
He paused before answering, and the thud of her heart filled her skull, the room, the entire world.
“I don’t know.” When he finally spoke, he sounded troubled. “I was hoping you did.”
Shit.Shit. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know,” he said again. “He’d planned to fly into LAX this afternoon, stop home for a few minutes, then drive to meet April and me in Malibu. His flight landed safely, according to the airport website. But he was supposed to arrive at the hotel a couple of hours ago, and we haven’t seen him.”
That … wasn’t great. “Could he have missed his flight?”
“Maybe.” Marcus’s voice was tight with worry. “But no one’s heard from him since the plane took off. He’s not answering his phone or responding to texts and emails.”
Alex would typically send his best friend a billion bored texts during a transcontinental plane ride. No wonder Marcus was anxious. She was too, and becoming more so by the second.
“He probably just forgot about our plans, but I want to make sure he’s not sick or hurt.” After the click of a door closing, the quiet buzz of background noise went silent. “Normally, he always responds to my messages. Even when he ignores everyone else.”
In the ER, countless scared, sad families had shared some tear-choked version of this story. Nevertheless, she genuinely didn’t think Alex would harm himself. Not directly.
But he was sorecklesssometimes, and if he was hurting as much as she was—
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think. “Have you called his mom?”
“She’s the last person he contacted before the flight. As far as she knows, he’s not in Florida anymore, but she honestly has no clue.” He made a frustrated noise. “I was hoping he’d reconciled with you and lost track of time and space and human existence, which was the best possible scenario under the circumstances.”
God, if only. She’d give anything.Anything.
More important, she’dtakeanything.
