Sabrina’s expression turned contemplative. “The zombie was recalling things from before the Battle for Containment, then. Before that final serum. When they were…” She bit her lip for a moment. “Different. Less…mindless.”
Maps. Mimes. Television.Bon appétit.Bonjour.Magnifique.
There was only one possible explanation that encompassedeverything, and Edie was the godsdamn genius who’d found that explanation. This truly was the awesomest eveningever.
Edie thrust her hand in the air and waved it with all the enthusiasm of a teacher’s pet in the classroom’s front row. “Starla, the part involving mimes. Was it something like ‘Mimer, no miming’?”
“Maybe.” The telepath thought for a few seconds. “Yes. I think that could be it.”
“Then I know what’s happening with all the French!” Edie shouted delightedly. “Their guards must have let them watchEnora the Explorersometimes! Before the scientists tinkered with things once too often and everyone got murdered horribly!”
Slowly, the entire living room full of people turned to look at her.
“Enora the Explorer? The children’s television show?” Kip appeared dubious. “The one where they try to teach kids French?”
Kip could doubt all he wanted, but she was ten million percent sure she’d solved this particular puzzle. Suck on that, troll-boy!
“When I was fourteen, our neighbor was a single mom, and I babysat her kids. They were allowed to watch two episodes ofEnora the Explorerevery night,” Edie informed him. “Anyway, the show had an anthropomorphized map and a malicious, troublemaking mime and—”
“Whoa. I always suspected mimes were dicks.” Lorraine blinked at Edie, then turned to Max. “Hey! Are you a mime, bro?”
“That’s…very odd and somewhat interesting, I suppose,” Sabrina cut in, “but also of limited relevance. Let’s talk about—”
“Did you ever babysit an actual baby, Edie?” Gwen, who’dbeen sitting slumped in her armchair all evening, suddenly perked up. “What did—”
“Good gods, this is like herding kittens.” Sabrina rubbed her forehead. “Again, we’re veering off topic. Before time runs out, I need to ask Max about—”
“The passage of time feels different when you’re my age, witch.” Max idly scratched the growing stubble on his cheek. “I mean, I’ve been around since—”
“Hey. Wait just a freaking minute, Sabby.” The oracle’s chin sat at a stubborn angle. “Babies arenotoff topic. I need to know about them, okay? The sooner the better.”
“Oh.” Starla’s eyes went wide. “Oh.”
Edie tugged on Max’s sleeve until he lowered his head and she could whisper in his ear. “Does Gwen want to start babysitting too? Like, for extra cash? Because I could give her tips if she’d like. Tip number one: Put something over a baby’s penis when you change his diaper, because he can and will urinate directly into your face. Like a cherub in a really gross fountain!”
“No,” he said slowly. “I think maybe—”
“I told you I threw up after prophesizing because the upcoming battle made me anxious, but I was a lying liar-pants who lies lyingly.” Gwen got to her feet and drew herself up straight. “I wasn’t anxious. Well, I was. I am. But I am also pregnant AF. Or as I prefer to call it,preggers. Because that sounds like more fun than being pregnant, am I right?”
Edie considered the matter, then nodded in agreement.
Sabrina’s voice was shrill. “You’repregnant?”
“Yep.” Gwen swirled a hand in front of her belly. “Eating for two. Knocked up. My oven has hereby been bunned.”
Kip’s brow crinkled. “Someone brought buns? Are they fresh-baked?”
“No, Kip. Gods.” Gwen’s eyes flicked heavenward. “Anyway, now you know. Also, I have no idea how to fight. Like, at all. So my bun and the entire kitchen setup surrounding its oven will probably get slaughtered two point three seconds after the mano a mano—woman-o a zombie-o?—part of our plan begins. Just FYI.”
The hazy blue of Max’s eyes had sharpened. “We’ll teach you some self-defense moves tomorrow. And since you’re not comfortable fighting, we’ll keep you out of the actual physical battle as long as we can. That’s a promise, little oracle.”
“Agreed,” Kip, Lorraine, and Edie said in unison.
Gwen grinned, relief evident in her expression. “Oh. Thank you. I appreciate that.”
With a thump, she dropped back into her armchair.
“Gods and goddesses.” Sabrina’s palms scrubbed over her face. “Why didn’t you tell me, Gwen? I’d never have…”
