She didn’t skip a beat. “It is. It really is.”
“I don’t have the strength to stop Black, Lulu. Not with the power he’s drawn now.”
“I don’t think anyone else can beat him either.”
That put an uncomfortable flutter in my chest. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
Lulu grimaced. “It was, yes. So you didn’t blame yourself specifically. But it mostly sounded hopeless. Sorry about that.”
Monster tugged at my consciousness again, and Lulu jolted. “I felt that!”
“What?” I asked.
“Monster. I felt its magic.”
“It’s prodding me to go home. Into the sword.”
“Hmm,” she said, and looked me over. Then she narrowed her gaze and looked a little more. “Hmm.”
“Hmm what?”
“Hmm, maybe it has the right idea. As it is—and I’m not going to mince words here—Black’s strong enough to steal it from you. I’m not saying you wouldn’t put up a fight, but he’d win. And if he gets monster, I think we’re all in trouble. It’s not just a spell ora scrap of magic. It’s part of a sentient creature. That’s exponentially more magic.”
“So, bad.”
“Bad,” she agreed. “But if we let it go home, you put a lot of power into a single weapon.”
Monster’s excitement had the effervescence of just uncorked champagne.
“It’s the Egregore, though. Isn’t that dangerous?”
“How long have you known about monster?”
“Longer than I’m willing to tell you,” I admitted with a grin. “You scare me.”
“Has it killed you in that time?”
I just lifted my hands. “I appear to be alive.”
“Not killed. Roger. But it’s grown up with you,” she said. “What was that like?”
“It helps me fight sometimes. Gives me hints about threats. And recently, at Cadogan House, it took over my consciousness in order to get to the sword.”
Lulu’s eyes went huge. “What?”
“Yep. In the armory, with the guards and my dad banging on the door. It was the night I got my replacement sword.”
She whistled. “It really wants back in that sword. Has it tried to hurt you?”
“Well, no. I mean, we’ve gotten into some scrapes, but it wasn’t to hurt me.” Monster felt mollified by that conclusion and irritated that I had taken so long to get there. “It wasn’t to hurt me,” I whispered again, and tears nearly fell again.
“I didn’t think so,” Lulu said. “Monster is inside you, has been inside you, and hasn’t tried to hurt you. If it were your enemy, it would have taken you out long ago.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t only trying to protect itself? Keeping me alive to keep it alive?” I felt its responding huff.
“Who says it needed you to stay alive?” Lulu asked.
I simply stared at her. “What?”
