Ally watched him, fighting the urge to reach for his hand where it rested on his knee.
‘Sometimes I feel a bit… undervalued,’ he went on. ‘I mean, Chief Inspector Edwyn’s all right, when he’s around. He’s my supervisor, the one who’ll write my recommendation when I apply to be a full officer. He teaches me stuff, shows me how the systems work, that sort of thing. He’s decent like that. But some of the team don’t want to make use of me.’
‘But why?’
‘It’s hard to explain, but being a Special, some Regulars can find it hard to trust someone they might only see coming in to volunteer two or three times a week, depending on shift patterns, and they’re not all going to welcome everyone with open arms, especially an outsider from a Lowlands constabulary. I get it. They can’t trust me fully. It’s hard to trust outsiders when you’re a cop. The ones here stick close to their own.’
‘You wouldn’t act like that though, would you? In their position?’
‘One day I will be in their position, hopefully. You never know, maybe I will?’
Ally scrunched her nose. ‘Naw, I can’t see it. You’d include everyone.’
‘You don’t want some volunteer coming in and messing up a big case, though. Especially the investigating officers.’
Ally nodded. ‘Like the ones looking into the jewellery robbers, you mean?’
Jamie didn’t respond.
‘Can’t talk about it with a civilian, right?’ she said, nodding in acceptance.
‘I used to dream about being an investigator in Edinburgh,’ he said, dodging the topic.
Ally went with it. Anything to make it easier for Jamie. ‘Like something in an Ian Rankin novel?’ she said, smiling.
‘Aye! That’ll be me.’ He mimed turning up a shirt collar and lowered his chin, scowling.
‘Is that your John Rebus face?’
‘Like it?’ He broke into a smile again.
‘You’ve got the job!’ Ally said, and in their laughter it felt like a good idea to stick out her hand for him to shake.
‘Cheers very much,’ he said, shaking hers, his cheeks pinker than before.
It took a second for either of them to realise they were still clasping hands. Ally’s eyes fell to where he held her.
Decidedly, he didn’t let go. A squeeze of his fingers told her he wanted to stay linked like this. When she looked at him again, he asked, ‘This OK?’
A nod from her, a smile, possibly slightly dazed, and Ally relaxed her arm, letting him hold her hand, her wrist resting over his knee.
‘Back there,’ Jamie cleared his throat, gesturing with his head towards the club. ‘Was that guy your ex, by any chance?’
Ally drew her neck back. ‘You saw?’
‘I’m good at observing things, kind of goes with the badge and radio.’
‘Got it.’ They were still holding hands. His thumb rubbed in ticklish circles over the soft root of her thumb. Electricity seemed to spark there and it made it hard to think straight. ‘It, uh, it was my ex, yeah. With his girlfriend.’
‘Ah. Sorry about that.’ He seemed to think about this for a moment. ‘I mean, I’m not super sorry that he’s out of the picture, but I’m sorry if it hurt.’
Why was he able to make her feel nineteen and giddy like this? And where did he get his confidence? He just said what he meant. It was lovely.
‘Actually,’ she said, shifting her body to face him better, their eyes locking. ‘I wasn’t hurt at all.’ She stroked her thumbnail around the inside of his curled palm, hoping it sent Jamie into a dizzy butterfly-filled state too. ‘I thought I would be sad if I bumped into him, but actually I was happy.’ His pupils pinpointed down to tiny dots. She was doing that to him.
‘You were?’ His voice was breathy. His eyes sank to her lips. He swallowed.
‘I think I thought he was as good as it was ever going to get for me.’
