She’d achieved so much recently. She’d successfully brought the locals round in their attitudes to the repair shop – and if she could convince snooty Carenza to allow her precious baby, Peaches, to return to the repair den of iniquity, she could convince herself she wasn’t completely without talents.
Plus, she’d helped the Beaton family take a big first step towards healing their unspoken grief when she’d re-united Jamie, his dad and sister with Holiday, and by extension, their beloved mum.
That feeling of having made a difference through making a repair was increasingly deeply rewarding; not something she’d really understood until she saw it for herself written on Jamie’s face.
If she could do these things, she could do more. She could build on these feelings.
As the storm buffeted the Cairngorms that wild and moody Monday in July, Ally took action, directly messaging her three closest friends from back in the day, asking if they fancied a catch-up, saying she was sorry she’d been out of touch lately, she’d got a bit stuck in a rut. She’d love to see them and meet their kids properly.
It was risky. They could reply where the hell have you been? and tell her to get knotted. They could be indignant at her lack of interest in their lives recently. There was also a chance they might simply ignore her, too busy to meet up with a singleton friend from the past with whom they had nothing in common now they’d moved on, leaving her behind.
Sure, she knew she also had feelings she needed to put aside; self-pity at having been forgotten, at not being enough for them now they had families and she didn’t.
If she valued their old friendship, however, which she was sure she still did, she thought she could bridge the distance that had kept them apart, or at least she could try.
It had taken all of sixty seconds for the replies to start coming in.
Brodie
Oh my god Ally!!! We’ve been meaning to get in touch. Can’t believe we haven’t seen you since the wedding! Hold on I’m adding you to the group chat.
A notification appeared and Ally accepted the invite.
Jo
Ally! How are you??
Ally
I’m good! Are you all OK? I’ve missed you guys.
Jo
We’ve missed you too. I’m tagging @MhairiSears so she gets the notification. She needs to see this.
Brodie
She’s in this group but ghosts us lol
Jo
She’s super busy with Jolyon.
Jolyon was the only one of the friend group’s kids she’d actually met beyond naming parties and Christenings back when they were wee woolly bundles in their parents’ arms. He’d been the first baby born in the gang, just before lockdown.
Ally had met up with Mhairi and her husband, their Jack Russell, and little Jolyon in his pushchair for fresh air walks when restrictions first lifted. She’d held the little guy in her arms and smelled his new baby loveliness. When restrictions tightened suddenly and everyone was confined to their houses yet again, she’d sent him presents and FaceTimed with his mum. Jolyon was the only kid she’d ever held or got to know in any real way. He was gorgeous, never cried, barely made a sound, in fact, and was always contented. The perfect baby.
Somewhere around about Jolyon’s third birthday Mhairi had grown distant in her DMs. Ally could have made more effort, she knew, but she’d taken it as the sign it was, that Mhairi was happy with her new mummy friends, the pre-school crowd. Too busy for Ally.
Brodie
We should meet up!
Ally
We definitely should.
They’d said the same thing in their Christmas texts when the whole Covid nightmare was coming to an end. They’d repeated it when she’d bumped into Jo that time in the big Tesco, but it hadn’t happened. It was just one of those things old friends say.
