‘I’m doing the right thing,’ he said out loud. ‘Some Me Time. Helping Mum and Dad. Autumn and winter in the Highlands. Sorting out this bid. I’ve got this.’ And, entirely unconvinced and more than a little gloomy, he returned to his screen, forcing himself to get lost in his task once more.
Murray McIntyre was done with crying and he was well and truly done with chasing after cold, reserved men with nothing emotional to offer him.
Outside, Ally swiped to the boarding pass on her phone. Flight SW757 to Zurich. Her ticket out of here. She’d been dreaming of escape for so long that, now she held it in her hand, it was difficult to process.
Her parents waited for her by the open boot. They’d been watching the dawn and sharing a hug and a single cup of coffee in a travel mug.
On seeing her approach, McIntyre came for her case and hefted it into the back, before bringing down the boot door with a bang.
‘Ready?’ he said.
Ally looked around at the dewy morning. Cairn Dhu mountain was capped with white on its highest, northernmost face, the heather below the mountain pass was in its fullest flush of copper and purple. Someone on the high street had a summer fire lit in their grate, casting out a good sooty smell of smoke that would always transport her right back to the winters of her childhood. She let herself take it all in, feeling more than ever how twelve months was a very, very long time.
She looked to the repair shed. Its doors were locked, the tools stilled and silent, the craftspeople, bakers and busybodies all still asleep in their beds. Soon it would be bustling again, alive with gossip and drilling, dauding, sawing, and Bhangra beats from Sachin’s radio.
It was her repair shop, her community, when before it had just been something her dad did, something she’d been reluctantly roped into. Now it was as much a part of her as it was stitched into the fabric of Cairn Dhu and its people.
‘I’m proud of you, my girl,’ said her dad, seemingly reading her thoughts.
‘Och,’ she smiled this off. ‘I’m proud of us.’
‘You were the one turned our fortunes around, and got us all back on our feet at the shed. You got me back on my feet. All these years it’s been my job to look after you and then suddenly, there you were, knowing just what to do when I was at a loss. And now you’re leaving, flying away with the summer swifts.’
He hugged her tight.
‘We should save it for the airport. If I start crying again here, we’ll never get away,’ she said.
‘Come on then.’
He made his way round to the driver’s door. Roz delivered a swift kiss to her daughter’s cheek, still unable to find the words to even begin to say goodbye, then she made her way to the passenger seat and closed her door.
Ally stood by the car, finding her legs moved stiffly, stalling her. Something wasn’t right.
She wanted to go to Switzerland. She was ready for it. She was all packed. She’d prepared for this. Yet, her heart was thumping hard and telling her she needed Jamie.
She thought of him asleep in his childhood bedroom. She’d never even seen him dreaming deeply. Never laid beside him and held him for longer than a few minutes. There was so much she wanted to do with him and they hadn’t had the chance.
She’d miss his first day of work as a regular officer, miss seeing him passing out in his uniform. She’d miss autumn walks and crunching through fallen leaves with him. There’d be no wrapping gifts for under his Christmas tree or mistletoe kisses or Hogmanay ceilidhs. In another life, where their timing wasn’t off, and where they were better matched, she’d want all of that.
With a hard sigh, she told herself to get moving. There is always some aspect of self-denial and sacrifice in pursuing what you want. Always inconvenience and bad timing. It’s a fact of adult life.
Ally was right back where she’d started, with a broken heart. Only now, she had memories of laughing and kissing, plotting and working together, hiking and talking, holding hands, feeling seen and being wanted. Fleeting, brief, summer moments, but they’d been worth it.
She found her legs loosening, and she lifted her head again, reaching for the car door. She’d message him on the drive to the airport. Tell him she was glad for him, passing his physical and getting what he wanted at long last. He’d worked so hard, he deserved happiness. She’d really mean it too. So long as he was happy, she could be glad for him. Her hand on the cold metal of the handle, her breath clouding the crisp morning air. She was really leaving.
‘Wait!’
At first, she thought it was Murray, somehow coming at her from the gap in the courtyard walls. The voice turned into the hard crunch of gravel, and a streak of blue and black came thundering into the drive. Jamie Beaton, red cheeked and puffing.
She almost dropped her phone at the sight of him.
‘I thought I was going to miss you!’ He could barely breathe. ‘I ran all the way from the station… early train… Christ!’ He leaned over, hands on his knees. ‘Surprised I passed that physical!’
‘What are you doing here?’ She watched him in wonder, catching sight of her mum’s face through the car window, beaming back at them both.
He tried to catch his breath, straightening up again. Darkest blue jeans, blue jumper. Like an off-duty police officer.
She knew she was wide-eyed like a woman on the verge of losing it.
